In this world.. there are many different things..
i didn't know.. I look in too shallow..
How deep can it go, i still duno..
My mind keeps going round..
All this while what I did is wrong?
I really couldn't make it?
Sometimes, i really couldn't find a proper place to lean on..
All i have is just myself..
MYSELF...
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
FORGIVE BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET
Sometimes, i just feel hard to "put down".. When things are at it's best, evrything seems to be so perfect, but when you thought of things which is so sickening that it can ruin u, it feels terriblely hurtful.. I didnt wanna think of it, but it keep appearing in my mind..
Once, I thought of FORGIVING and FORGETING evrything... But i just realised, I couldn't do it..
izit the environment? izit inti? or izit ppl around me?
what wanna blame? don't blame me, i beg... Blame that "wonderful" incident if u people wan to.. It makes what I am today..You think if you forgive n forget, people will appreciate? these are bullshits... yes, you will get bullied another time.. i guaranttee..
People will thought u are as tame as rabbits..
You treat me good, of course i will treat you good.. If you treat me bad, thats it, i will treat u the same toooo.. Thats y i say la, TREAT PEOPLE LIKE HOW YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU.. it's a logic statement..
I've got it twice.. I thought once is already enough for me, but why am I getting the second wan without reason?
WTH ??!! I just don't understand !!! why statements can be out before analysing the truth?
I stop my mind frm thinking bout that, but i juz couldn't get over it..
N 1 SORRY can cure evrything?... You think it willl?
Wounds are wounds, wounds end with scar, n scar remains FOREVER...
SORRY can nvr cure the scar..
Not that I wanna keep thinking of that, but don't you feel it's miserable?
Why am I getting all these?
What I get still not enough izit?
all those -ve comments n so on, not enough, not sufficient? why do u want frm me sumore?
I HATE IDIOTS HU GV FAKE STATEMENTS...
I HATE I HATE
N I REALLLY DO HATE MANNNNNN !!
Once is like that, twice is like that.. when's thrice?
I just don't know what had i owe them.. Can any1 just tell me plsssszzzzzzzssss?
I just cannot figure it out..
DAMNIT..
Life is damn complicated...
I mean PEOPLE in my life..
Without them, I will be so happie...
Happy like anything...
But these peoples just make my life so ridiculous, full of sadness, full of suspense, full of THINGS-THAT-I-HAD...
To peoples that gv me a scar: I will never forget you guys...
Once, I thought of FORGIVING and FORGETING evrything... But i just realised, I couldn't do it..
izit the environment? izit inti? or izit ppl around me?
what wanna blame? don't blame me, i beg... Blame that "wonderful" incident if u people wan to.. It makes what I am today..You think if you forgive n forget, people will appreciate? these are bullshits... yes, you will get bullied another time.. i guaranttee..
People will thought u are as tame as rabbits..
You treat me good, of course i will treat you good.. If you treat me bad, thats it, i will treat u the same toooo.. Thats y i say la, TREAT PEOPLE LIKE HOW YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU.. it's a logic statement..
I've got it twice.. I thought once is already enough for me, but why am I getting the second wan without reason?
WTH ??!! I just don't understand !!! why statements can be out before analysing the truth?
I stop my mind frm thinking bout that, but i juz couldn't get over it..
N 1 SORRY can cure evrything?... You think it willl?
Wounds are wounds, wounds end with scar, n scar remains FOREVER...
SORRY can nvr cure the scar..
Not that I wanna keep thinking of that, but don't you feel it's miserable?
Why am I getting all these?
What I get still not enough izit?
all those -ve comments n so on, not enough, not sufficient? why do u want frm me sumore?
I HATE IDIOTS HU GV FAKE STATEMENTS...
I HATE I HATE
N I REALLLY DO HATE MANNNNNN !!
Once is like that, twice is like that.. when's thrice?
I just don't know what had i owe them.. Can any1 just tell me plsssszzzzzzzssss?
I just cannot figure it out..
DAMNIT..
Life is damn complicated...
I mean PEOPLE in my life..
Without them, I will be so happie...
Happy like anything...
But these peoples just make my life so ridiculous, full of sadness, full of suspense, full of THINGS-THAT-I-HAD...
To peoples that gv me a scar: I will never forget you guys...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
be friends, forever..
as we go on, we remembered all the times we had together
as our life change, comes whatever, we will still be
friendss 4ever...
as our life change, comes whatever, we will still be
friendss 4ever...
Friday, December 11, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Give up not
I felt like giving up.. I felt I have no more aim, no more direction, no more purpose in life..
I felt that whatever I do, they will be no more purpose...
Not to only give up on my studies, but also evrything.. I wanted to give up everything..
But when I think twice,I feel that things wouldn't change eventhough if Im giving up...
In fact, things might become worse..
Maybe not now, but in future, I am sure I willl regret like anything if I give up now... I do things follow my mood... My mood nice, evrything goes well, my mood not nice, I give up everything...
People around can't stand me also at times, but im sorry, I cannot control myself.. I may look cheerful as i used to be, happy like nothing happen on the outside, but deep down in my heart, I am not... I felt very helpless, although people offer to help, but still Im not satisfied.
I don't know why..
Outsiders may think I am a useless girl, a playful girl, a-dun-like-2-study-girl, oweys-like-to-depend-on-people-girl... But who are you to think and judge me like that?? How much or how deep u all know my inner thoughts?
How u noe what am I thinking? My attutude, my character, my actions, how much you all know? my independent side, my useful side, my studying look, you all never see it before..
Im just a simple person, n leads a simple life... so... why? wana makes my life miserable ?
Life is full of suffering, I understand... Life is not a bed of roses, I know...
giving up not,
carolynwong
I felt that whatever I do, they will be no more purpose...
Not to only give up on my studies, but also evrything.. I wanted to give up everything..
But when I think twice,I feel that things wouldn't change eventhough if Im giving up...
In fact, things might become worse..
Maybe not now, but in future, I am sure I willl regret like anything if I give up now... I do things follow my mood... My mood nice, evrything goes well, my mood not nice, I give up everything...
People around can't stand me also at times, but im sorry, I cannot control myself.. I may look cheerful as i used to be, happy like nothing happen on the outside, but deep down in my heart, I am not... I felt very helpless, although people offer to help, but still Im not satisfied.
I don't know why..
Outsiders may think I am a useless girl, a playful girl, a-dun-like-2-study-girl, oweys-like-to-depend-on-people-girl... But who are you to think and judge me like that?? How much or how deep u all know my inner thoughts?
How u noe what am I thinking? My attutude, my character, my actions, how much you all know? my independent side, my useful side, my studying look, you all never see it before..
Im just a simple person, n leads a simple life... so... why? wana makes my life miserable ?
Life is full of suffering, I understand... Life is not a bed of roses, I know...
giving up not,
carolynwong
Saturday, December 5, 2009
If it's yours, it's yours, if it's not, it nvr was.
Am I? Am I? Am I?
too selfish, too stubborn, too over?
But this is who I am...
Nvr will I change..
Take it or leave it...
Kip going, or let it go?...
Tired, sick and tired, sick..
What am I, who am I? I duno..
lost in outer space. again and again..
I feel so dissappointed with myself..
vry vry sad, vry vry dissappointed with myself
~If it's yours, it's yours, If it's not, it never was~
too selfish, too stubborn, too over?
But this is who I am...
Nvr will I change..
Take it or leave it...
Kip going, or let it go?...
Tired, sick and tired, sick..
What am I, who am I? I duno..
lost in outer space. again and again..
I feel so dissappointed with myself..
vry vry sad, vry vry dissappointed with myself
~If it's yours, it's yours, If it's not, it never was~
Friday, November 27, 2009
Happie birthday Kohi !!
Chelseala !! woohoo...
Finallllllly, you turn 18... syok kan?? hehehe
Here just to wish you Happy 18th birthday..
Im sorry, coz i late to post blog.. But rite, I didn't late to sms yo.. =)
What I wanna tell you is, You are such a great n loving friend of mine, n im glad to have you as my friend...
You are 1 of them whom i can really talk to.. I still remember the times we use to gossip bout those couples during bio classss... Reading newspaper, critisisng dat cicak, cR-7 in bio lab.. go to the romantic clinic together-gether... Study chem together...
So yeah... all de best in ur future undertakings... I noe u enjoying college life, n so.. continue enjoying it, coz it's once in a lifetime experience.. ehehehe
Take care always...
Lots of love,
~carolyn~
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
=(
When you say, you must do it right?
Don't say, if you cannot do..
I dislike humans that gv me fake facts just to please me..
Don't have to please me, bcoz I don't worth anything.
Im not sure of what am I doin izit correct..
I do things that people wouldn't appreciate, but I don't know why I still bother to do so. I always say this, but indeed I feel SO..
I know that people will not appreciate, but still I did.. I didn't know for what reason?
I felt im useless, doing nonsence which is nt worth..
Im stupid,indeed a damn stupid girl, hving a too simple thinking.. Not that i need a return is just dat, i duno how to explain..
treat u gud, u will treat me gud? love u, u will love me? care 4u, u care 4me? belanja u, u belanja me? help u, u will help me?..
what are these? these are all stupid thinking...
all this is juz what we calllled naive..
Never think that you treat people good, they will feel it.. nvr..
NOW i blieve, In this world, nothing is always fair..
happy? I don't know what's the meaning anymore..
I tried to, but I don't get the feeling like last time..
Im happy, for a moment or a second, n i start thinking izit real again..
Smile? I can't smile like how I use to anymore..
A fake smile or a real wan? I cannot differentiate..
I feel myself is not myself..
Give and take..
Maybe i take alot, but not giving.. but seriously i dun think i take alot..
When I need someone, noone's thr..
When I need someone to lean on, I don't even know whr or who shud i go to..
No matter sad or dissappointed, I don't know how am I gonna show on my face anymore..
Perhaps, showing evry single face expression is my weakest point.. I won't do it anymore..
I have no idea what do I actually demanding for.. But evrything is just not what I want.. Maybe words frm people, had change my mind. Im always craving for truth wich is damn annoying..
I always wonder, I always think, I always suspect... I can no longer trust any1,not even myself, my choice,my thoughts n my decision..not anymore.. I dono y, but im just not convince enough..
What hv said, hv been said.. what that i noe, I knew...
There will never be a u-turn..
I feel insecure...
Im hiding myself...
Im sick and tired...
I think alot, thinking alot n alot n alot.. I can nvr know how to express..
~everlasting? nothing is permanent, I understand..~
helplessly carolyn..
goodbye
Don't say, if you cannot do..
I dislike humans that gv me fake facts just to please me..
Don't have to please me, bcoz I don't worth anything.
Im not sure of what am I doin izit correct..
I do things that people wouldn't appreciate, but I don't know why I still bother to do so. I always say this, but indeed I feel SO..
I know that people will not appreciate, but still I did.. I didn't know for what reason?
I felt im useless, doing nonsence which is nt worth..
Im stupid,indeed a damn stupid girl, hving a too simple thinking.. Not that i need a return is just dat, i duno how to explain..
treat u gud, u will treat me gud? love u, u will love me? care 4u, u care 4me? belanja u, u belanja me? help u, u will help me?..
what are these? these are all stupid thinking...
all this is juz what we calllled naive..
Never think that you treat people good, they will feel it.. nvr..
NOW i blieve, In this world, nothing is always fair..
happy? I don't know what's the meaning anymore..
I tried to, but I don't get the feeling like last time..
Im happy, for a moment or a second, n i start thinking izit real again..
Smile? I can't smile like how I use to anymore..
A fake smile or a real wan? I cannot differentiate..
I feel myself is not myself..
Give and take..
Maybe i take alot, but not giving.. but seriously i dun think i take alot..
When I need someone, noone's thr..
When I need someone to lean on, I don't even know whr or who shud i go to..
No matter sad or dissappointed, I don't know how am I gonna show on my face anymore..
Perhaps, showing evry single face expression is my weakest point.. I won't do it anymore..
I have no idea what do I actually demanding for.. But evrything is just not what I want.. Maybe words frm people, had change my mind. Im always craving for truth wich is damn annoying..
I always wonder, I always think, I always suspect... I can no longer trust any1,not even myself, my choice,my thoughts n my decision..not anymore.. I dono y, but im just not convince enough..
What hv said, hv been said.. what that i noe, I knew...
There will never be a u-turn..
I feel insecure...
Im hiding myself...
Im sick and tired...
I think alot, thinking alot n alot n alot.. I can nvr know how to express..
~everlasting? nothing is permanent, I understand..~
helplessly carolyn..
goodbye
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Conclusion
November it is.. December is coming in a blink of an eye.. This shows that 2009 is coming to an end..
Last yr, i dun bother much to conclude bout 2008, coz going for NS.. Totally moodless..
So, i concluding bout 2009.. briefly la..
2009 is a smooth sailing yr for me.. Boleh dikatakan begitu lah for the 1st half of the year.. n later on, it becum bittersweet.. So, conclusion it's a smooth sailing but bittersweet year...
On January,
I was stuck in Rachado Bay Camp, port dickson.. for the 1st 2 weeks, I cry all day long, complaining bout food, bed, got ghost, those malay vry mafan, and etc.. I feeel like go college and start studies... crying evry nite, n calling home evry single free moment..
But as day passes, I slowly adapt to the sucking environment whr thr is oweys no electricity and water supply.. sigh.. n end of January i get to go back home coz it's CNY.. yeah !!
On February stuck thr whole month... marching, physical exercisesss,classes and Shooting.. wah... syok betul.. Nothing much le.. I learn how to wash clothess.. whee..
On March, I final get to see the society again. Im officially free, but i need to bear with spm result.. I am satisfied with it, because the effort i put in deserve that result..
Although it's not a dozen of A1s, but at least it is an acceptable result.. March was so so.. evrything quite messy, searching for coll and all, surveying, bla bla bla..
On April, Rot at home whole month... Did nothing throughout the 30 days.. Bored like anything..
Nothing much on April..
On May, enter a new chapter of life.. cn be consider la.. enter Inti college...
Quiet and peaceful place... Meet alot of old friends, coz alot ppl goes thr I duno why.. hehe..
started college n found tht it's quite challenging.. something new.. nice.. =)
On June, same bz with chem bio maths.. n then yeah.. go for the children camp 5, basically im not the children la okie, the faci.. dont salah faham..
So yeah, i learn how 2 appreciate my parent, coz tht camp are mainly for orphanage..
Mixing around with them, makes me feel that im actually not tht mature like some of them..
On July, exam near rdy la.. start sum study.. abit oni.. actualli lk x study oni.. haha.. n yeah.. bcum the Leo Mission thingy punya committee,programme master.. I sucks...
Eventhough it sucks, but i learnt something.. n I hv fun in that long-time-never-visit petrosains..
Damn jakun... ohya, I donate blood.. A record for myself, the 1st time i donated my BLOOD... wuwuwu... not pain lah.. hehe..
Blood donation
On August, Finalss starts... 3rd of aug, the start of challenging thing..
I duno wat i did in my finals... It's oni for me to pass..... Receive result, =(
Sem break...
Went to Sabah... Damn lousy trip... I min the place is lousy.. I dun likie it, but still an outing with my family...
On September, Inti whole month.. 2nd sem starts...
the 17th of sept, i oweys rmb..
Went to Leo Mission, to the Zoo.. NAtional zoo whahahaa.. clean the tiger cage, nice experience..
I be friend with lion n it's wife...
On October, a month that never ever I can easily forget..
I encounter something that I never had in my whole 18 years of life..
I cried alot, but it never helps.. I hide my true self n start faking around..
I get to know things that I shouldnt know..
I felt helpless.. I need to see ppl that I dun like,do things in a worrying mode.
On November, which is now, Im trying hard to go back to the right track..But it seems hard..
Hopefully I can..
Exam is around the corner, i need to do better than last sem.. A promise not oni to my family n you, but myself..
December will be in 10 days time.. I hoping for a great one.. Im goin Genting with my college friends.. With them, I think it will be nicee.. Hopefully this trip can be a happy n vry fun wan... A trip with friends to mark an end of the year 2009.. It will be great..
Last yr, i dun bother much to conclude bout 2008, coz going for NS.. Totally moodless..
So, i concluding bout 2009.. briefly la..
2009 is a smooth sailing yr for me.. Boleh dikatakan begitu lah for the 1st half of the year.. n later on, it becum bittersweet.. So, conclusion it's a smooth sailing but bittersweet year...
On January,
I was stuck in Rachado Bay Camp, port dickson.. for the 1st 2 weeks, I cry all day long, complaining bout food, bed, got ghost, those malay vry mafan, and etc.. I feeel like go college and start studies... crying evry nite, n calling home evry single free moment..
But as day passes, I slowly adapt to the sucking environment whr thr is oweys no electricity and water supply.. sigh.. n end of January i get to go back home coz it's CNY.. yeah !!
On February stuck thr whole month... marching, physical exercisesss,classes and Shooting.. wah... syok betul.. Nothing much le.. I learn how to wash clothess.. whee..
On March, I final get to see the society again. Im officially free, but i need to bear with spm result.. I am satisfied with it, because the effort i put in deserve that result..
Although it's not a dozen of A1s, but at least it is an acceptable result.. March was so so.. evrything quite messy, searching for coll and all, surveying, bla bla bla..
On April, Rot at home whole month... Did nothing throughout the 30 days.. Bored like anything..
Nothing much on April..
On May, enter a new chapter of life.. cn be consider la.. enter Inti college...
Quiet and peaceful place... Meet alot of old friends, coz alot ppl goes thr I duno why.. hehe..
started college n found tht it's quite challenging.. something new.. nice.. =)
On June, same bz with chem bio maths.. n then yeah.. go for the children camp 5, basically im not the children la okie, the faci.. dont salah faham..
So yeah, i learn how 2 appreciate my parent, coz tht camp are mainly for orphanage..
Mixing around with them, makes me feel that im actually not tht mature like some of them..
On July, exam near rdy la.. start sum study.. abit oni.. actualli lk x study oni.. haha.. n yeah.. bcum the Leo Mission thingy punya committee,programme master.. I sucks...
Eventhough it sucks, but i learnt something.. n I hv fun in that long-time-never-visit petrosains..
Damn jakun... ohya, I donate blood.. A record for myself, the 1st time i donated my BLOOD... wuwuwu... not pain lah.. hehe..
Blood donation
On August, Finalss starts... 3rd of aug, the start of challenging thing..
I duno wat i did in my finals... It's oni for me to pass..... Receive result, =(
Sem break...
Went to Sabah... Damn lousy trip... I min the place is lousy.. I dun likie it, but still an outing with my family...
On September, Inti whole month.. 2nd sem starts...
the 17th of sept, i oweys rmb..
Went to Leo Mission, to the Zoo.. NAtional zoo whahahaa.. clean the tiger cage, nice experience..
I be friend with lion n it's wife...
On October, a month that never ever I can easily forget..
I encounter something that I never had in my whole 18 years of life..
I cried alot, but it never helps.. I hide my true self n start faking around..
I get to know things that I shouldnt know..
I felt helpless.. I need to see ppl that I dun like,do things in a worrying mode.
On November, which is now, Im trying hard to go back to the right track..But it seems hard..
Hopefully I can..
Exam is around the corner, i need to do better than last sem.. A promise not oni to my family n you, but myself..
December will be in 10 days time.. I hoping for a great one.. Im goin Genting with my college friends.. With them, I think it will be nicee.. Hopefully this trip can be a happy n vry fun wan... A trip with friends to mark an end of the year 2009.. It will be great..
Thursday, November 19, 2009
a post
I don't know what to say or to do bsides crying.. Besides crying, what more I can do?
All in all, everything seems not right, not in the right track..
Things comes 1 by 1 which i don't know how shall I react..
This is just the beginning, but it turn out to be like this..
Maybe I myself think too much..
Anyhow, I can't stay like that forever but to move on..
But when can I move on?
I will move on, when my heart finally understands...
All in all, everything seems not right, not in the right track..
Things comes 1 by 1 which i don't know how shall I react..
This is just the beginning, but it turn out to be like this..
Maybe I myself think too much..
Anyhow, I can't stay like that forever but to move on..
But when can I move on?
I will move on, when my heart finally understands...
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Again..
I start thinking back again... wth... it brings back that day's scene again after the dinner...The time that i almost forget bout it, they reminds me again... why why why?
:'(
im scared tht i will not be able to forget bout it...
Im worry that i hv psycology problem.. I dun1 go see psychiatrist... I dun1 bcum crazy... I very scare...
I can't stop thinking since tht day.. I dun1 think, but i still think...
i scare i bcum crazy, abnormal mental thinking,bcum gila...
I dun1..I dun1
But duno y cnt stop wan, the words kip goin on my mind whenever i wana plan activities...
sad n depressing carol signing off..
:'(
im scared tht i will not be able to forget bout it...
Im worry that i hv psycology problem.. I dun1 go see psychiatrist... I dun1 bcum crazy... I very scare...
I can't stop thinking since tht day.. I dun1 think, but i still think...
i scare i bcum crazy, abnormal mental thinking,bcum gila...
I dun1..I dun1
But duno y cnt stop wan, the words kip goin on my mind whenever i wana plan activities...
sad n depressing carol signing off..
Friday, November 13, 2009
To you
I doesn't noe that yday's conversation will actually make u tink so much.. Im not that silly to sacrifice my sleeping time to blog bout my bo song ness. Sometimes, I also duno how to explain myself to you.. I just want somebody to talk to.. tell me some words to make myself laugh... Maybe u are trying to do so, but i hv the wrong concept of it..
The moment you tell me that, what i have in mind, is only that u r helping her, i hv no idea why...n i just voice out.. as u noe, i nvr think b4 i talk, i just talk what is on my mind... i relli feel u r helpin, so, thrfore i juz telll..
ThT eating example, isn't that a standard respond? evry gal would gv same respond, arent they?
n ur ur aunt example, what i wanna say is, "you think le, you guy wat"..
i min 男生是保护女生的，therefore u shall tink.. something lk dat... I shud write "you planner" to avoid misunderstand..
I know my talking attitude sucks, but im trying to control.. at least, i din show bo song face to them.. step by step,i will go.... can I?
I tink yday i hurt you, coz u said you sad... bcoz of my talking attitude perhaps...
Btw, blaming? you min I blame them izit? alright... maybe i did...
I will still carry out with my plan... nothing to worry...
I will get it done tonite..
k, go class 1st... later oni talk..
what i wana tell you is, Im not thr to hurt you yday, my mood reli sucks.. I noe i shudn't throw nything to you... But, still it is how am I.. changing needs time....
n do u really feel that im exacly like ur aunt bcoz yday i said i dun 1 to listen to you?
last but not least,I am real sorry...
The moment you tell me that, what i have in mind, is only that u r helping her, i hv no idea why...n i just voice out.. as u noe, i nvr think b4 i talk, i just talk what is on my mind... i relli feel u r helpin, so, thrfore i juz telll..
ThT eating example, isn't that a standard respond? evry gal would gv same respond, arent they?
n ur ur aunt example, what i wanna say is, "you think le, you guy wat"..
i min 男生是保护女生的，therefore u shall tink.. something lk dat... I shud write "you planner" to avoid misunderstand..
I know my talking attitude sucks, but im trying to control.. at least, i din show bo song face to them.. step by step,i will go.... can I?
I tink yday i hurt you, coz u said you sad... bcoz of my talking attitude perhaps...
Btw, blaming? you min I blame them izit? alright... maybe i did...
I will still carry out with my plan... nothing to worry...
I will get it done tonite..
k, go class 1st... later oni talk..
what i wana tell you is, Im not thr to hurt you yday, my mood reli sucks.. I noe i shudn't throw nything to you... But, still it is how am I.. changing needs time....
n do u really feel that im exacly like ur aunt bcoz yday i said i dun 1 to listen to you?
last but not least,I am real sorry...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Surprisingly
I never thought I will do so.. I hv no idea why am I going thr... Eventhough how hard my heart doesn't wanna go, but stilll I drag myself to go.. I hv test the nxt day n im hving study with my friends.. but still she insist me to go... OK LAH, old ppl calllll..... If nt, ppl might say I da pai.. My friends even wants to go with me.. n i thank them for sayanging me.. =)
I go, is not bcoz that i wanna clearify myself or anything, n of coz not bcoz of wanna gv her face.. like duh... gv face? I vomite. n not bcoz i wana save my $$.
It's because, I dun1 her to think that my mum doesn't noe how to teach daughter, hav a no manners daughter.. I will feel sorry for my mummy..
Sincerely. I feel vry uncomfortable. sitting and eating on a same round table, with people that I hv issue with.. like wth... Eventhough with my friend, my not reli close fren, but still fren, I dun sit on the same table, but now.. see lah... I cnt even believe i went for it.. shit..
I felt vry miserable, like im lost in the space or somewhere.. AT that moment, i really wana finish up my food fast to leave there... I cnt wait to go back.. sigh
Thank god, i can control myself n keep my mouth shut, n not voice out some unpleasant words/sentence.. In a few min, I feel like asking her.. walao weh... But later, evrything goes up the wall, n im dead once again... Sitting thr with them, brings back all the "SWEET MEMORIESSSSSSSSSSSS" they gave me one month ago.. I feel reli suffocated...I reli feel lk frowning at her when she look at me, i dun wana look into the eyes oso.. I couldn't do anything, but to pretend.. I have no selera to eat.. But what to do? still i hv to swallow, if not ppl say i waste food.. although i ate, but tasteless as im nt enjoying.. Food is to njoy..
Then, at night after studyin... off we go to burger.. we finish off our study early.. all pro story teller, vry fast we finish revising..
today test le.. hahahehe.. bio... i duno how much i will get. i juz hope for the best...
But i tried my best, im happie.. thanks to all my friends.. muackss
I go, is not bcoz that i wanna clearify myself or anything, n of coz not bcoz of wanna gv her face.. like duh... gv face? I vomite. n not bcoz i wana save my $$.
It's because, I dun1 her to think that my mum doesn't noe how to teach daughter, hav a no manners daughter.. I will feel sorry for my mummy..
Sincerely. I feel vry uncomfortable. sitting and eating on a same round table, with people that I hv issue with.. like wth... Eventhough with my friend, my not reli close fren, but still fren, I dun sit on the same table, but now.. see lah... I cnt even believe i went for it.. shit..
I felt vry miserable, like im lost in the space or somewhere.. AT that moment, i really wana finish up my food fast to leave there... I cnt wait to go back.. sigh
Thank god, i can control myself n keep my mouth shut, n not voice out some unpleasant words/sentence.. In a few min, I feel like asking her.. walao weh... But later, evrything goes up the wall, n im dead once again... Sitting thr with them, brings back all the "SWEET MEMORIESSSSSSSSSSSS" they gave me one month ago.. I feel reli suffocated...I reli feel lk frowning at her when she look at me, i dun wana look into the eyes oso.. I couldn't do anything, but to pretend.. I have no selera to eat.. But what to do? still i hv to swallow, if not ppl say i waste food.. although i ate, but tasteless as im nt enjoying.. Food is to njoy..
Then, at night after studyin... off we go to burger.. we finish off our study early.. all pro story teller, vry fast we finish revising..
today test le.. hahahehe.. bio... i duno how much i will get. i juz hope for the best...
But i tried my best, im happie.. thanks to all my friends.. muackss
Saturday, November 7, 2009
confusion
I don't really know how do i feel.. I don't exactly understand what I want..
Does the things I've now is all I want?
Am I now behaving like how I used to be?
sometimes it is so confusing...
I feel like giving up, but when i starts to think, I think I shoudn't as this might hurts people around me..
Im confuse bout everything..
How cum I can be sad bcoz of little minor things?
Why nowadays my tears flow easily?
I guess Im no longer tough lk how i use to be..
Not the surrounding is changing, maybe yes a little,
but 1 thing im still confused a little, am I the one who is changing?
Maybe I changed alot and im not well aware..
i think i've changed.. that is why i feel so confusing as i feel that im oweys unhappy n hard to satisfied...
Life is full of fun and laughter, and I dun feel that i had the laughter... Just say that Im greedy, im not ez to satisfy.. n Im confuse again, why im like that.. wth..
Where am I??..
Im lost in nowhere..
I don't know all choice made by me isit the right wan?
What I did izit the correct thing?
What im demanding for isit im must hv it?
I noe im lucky than alot of people, but still i hv -ve thinking...
now there's ntg to do with pms or whatsoever, i noe it's my own problem..
i duno how am I gonna handle things well..
The past was beautiful, but I know it's not possible anymore..
Amrit... i vry sad...
i duno what's wrong going on with me...
I duno how 2 bcum nylorac rdy..
but i noe u care 4me.. thank you..
Jon.. I wana ask u.. i 野蛮 not?? I mafan anot? u sanfu anot with me?
What I am to you?? can you tell me?..
a sincere ans...
ps: i noe my mum don't read dis, but anyway, happy birthday mum.
I love you always..
Does the things I've now is all I want?
Am I now behaving like how I used to be?
sometimes it is so confusing...
I feel like giving up, but when i starts to think, I think I shoudn't as this might hurts people around me..
Im confuse bout everything..
How cum I can be sad bcoz of little minor things?
Why nowadays my tears flow easily?
I guess Im no longer tough lk how i use to be..
Not the surrounding is changing, maybe yes a little,
but 1 thing im still confused a little, am I the one who is changing?
Maybe I changed alot and im not well aware..
i think i've changed.. that is why i feel so confusing as i feel that im oweys unhappy n hard to satisfied...
Life is full of fun and laughter, and I dun feel that i had the laughter... Just say that Im greedy, im not ez to satisfy.. n Im confuse again, why im like that.. wth..
Where am I??..
Im lost in nowhere..
I don't know all choice made by me isit the right wan?
What I did izit the correct thing?
What im demanding for isit im must hv it?
I noe im lucky than alot of people, but still i hv -ve thinking...
now there's ntg to do with pms or whatsoever, i noe it's my own problem..
i duno how am I gonna handle things well..
The past was beautiful, but I know it's not possible anymore..
Amrit... i vry sad...
i duno what's wrong going on with me...
I duno how 2 bcum nylorac rdy..
but i noe u care 4me.. thank you..
Jon.. I wana ask u.. i 野蛮 not?? I mafan anot? u sanfu anot with me?
What I am to you?? can you tell me?..
a sincere ans...
ps: i noe my mum don't read dis, but anyway, happy birthday mum.
I love you always..
Thursday, November 5, 2009
untitled
i think i blog here more than the open blog.. why huh?
bcoz i got alot of secret...
Finalssz in 1 months time, i tink exactly a month... n i hvent finish revising..
I guess shud be ok wan if evryday belajar.. But the problem is my laziness cell kip developing.. haih.. On the other hand, i dun hv the mood to properly look into the notes... n txtbooks..
Sometimes, i was wondering what am i doing ar?
When im in the room alone, I felt like so empty n so i starts to wonder what am i suppose to do..
what are my plans for the future.. pheww.. jauhnya pemikiran saya...
nowadays im damn duno how 2say la, u wana say emo ar, dun la.. wana say mei shi mei shi, oso cnt la...
Actually, i wanted to know ar, what's the meaning of friends ar? what is friendship all about? i trust my friends, but sumtimes you just couldn't give all your trust to them because you don't know is he/she ur true friend... I duno who is true and who is not.. But slowly, i would figure it out.. 1 thing, nvr expect me to treat you real, if you yourself is not..
n yeah, whats the different between love and friendship?
which wan is more important?
"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved"
~George Sand~
bcoz i got alot of secret...
Finalssz in 1 months time, i tink exactly a month... n i hvent finish revising..
I guess shud be ok wan if evryday belajar.. But the problem is my laziness cell kip developing.. haih.. On the other hand, i dun hv the mood to properly look into the notes... n txtbooks..
Sometimes, i was wondering what am i doing ar?
When im in the room alone, I felt like so empty n so i starts to wonder what am i suppose to do..
what are my plans for the future.. pheww.. jauhnya pemikiran saya...
nowadays im damn duno how 2say la, u wana say emo ar, dun la.. wana say mei shi mei shi, oso cnt la...
Actually, i wanted to know ar, what's the meaning of friends ar? what is friendship all about? i trust my friends, but sumtimes you just couldn't give all your trust to them because you don't know is he/she ur true friend... I duno who is true and who is not.. But slowly, i would figure it out.. 1 thing, nvr expect me to treat you real, if you yourself is not..
n yeah, whats the different between love and friendship?
which wan is more important?
"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved"
~George Sand~
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A dream bout You and Me
i shall blog it before i forget.. Im trying hard to recall bk =)
Yesterday nite, i dreamt about You..
the story goes...
You purposely wakeup damn early, to sms me to take care when im on d way back to campus..
n i didnt replied ur sms..
Consequently, u went and post on my fcbook wall.. telling me the steps to take care too..yes, step by step..
what i rmb was.. "carry ur laptop properly", "dun bother alot bout strangers", " when u rch edy, call me" got alot sumore, but i forgotten..
sms x reply, but on fcbook post oo.. weird dream it is..
But i know, at tht moment im touched by your action...
In the end, when I woke up, i felt sum liquid flowing out of my eyes.. But I realised dat it was juz a dream... n thats all for it..
How sweet will it be if it's reality..
Yesterday nite, i dreamt about You..
the story goes...
You purposely wakeup damn early, to sms me to take care when im on d way back to campus..
n i didnt replied ur sms..
Consequently, u went and post on my fcbook wall.. telling me the steps to take care too..yes, step by step..
what i rmb was.. "carry ur laptop properly", "dun bother alot bout strangers", " when u rch edy, call me" got alot sumore, but i forgotten..
sms x reply, but on fcbook post oo.. weird dream it is..
But i know, at tht moment im touched by your action...
In the end, when I woke up, i felt sum liquid flowing out of my eyes.. But I realised dat it was juz a dream... n thats all for it..
How sweet will it be if it's reality..
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
3 monthszz
To my dearest 王子:
Happy 3 monthsss leng chai
I know, leng lui's opposite is leng chai..
Not bad, at least u rmb.. but oso bcoz i educate u wan.. hmmph..right or not?teehee..
u said u vry cha rite?...
Sincerely, you no creativity wan lor.. But,in the process of learning, it takes times.. slowly, bit by bit la.. im not patience but learning to be one..
Surprise is anything...Do u know?.. sumtimes $$ can't buy surprise oso.. you ownself think la.. thing tht i taught u b4 can be surprise tooo...
the pencil box u wana buy rite, whr gt ppl ask buy wich wan or buy wat wan?
must ownself think ma...
anything u buy, i'll like..
I watch alot drama, u cn go learn frm there la, u so free, ntg to do.. =)
Anyway, ups and downs we get through together throughout the month, n im glad that evrything turns to be better now..at least not lk how 1st 1st lk dat..
As time passes, i hope it will be better n better lar..
The 4 things.. I hope u can make it n i noe u can.. I hv faith in u..
take care tooo.. dun slp onia.. hehe...
Thanks for your iceeee..
vry cooling..
till then..
with S2,
~carolyn~..
Happy 3 monthsss leng chai
I know, leng lui's opposite is leng chai..
Not bad, at least u rmb.. but oso bcoz i educate u wan.. hmmph..right or not?teehee..
u said u vry cha rite?...
Sincerely, you no creativity wan lor.. But,in the process of learning, it takes times.. slowly, bit by bit la.. im not patience but learning to be one..
Surprise is anything...Do u know?.. sumtimes $$ can't buy surprise oso.. you ownself think la.. thing tht i taught u b4 can be surprise tooo...
the pencil box u wana buy rite, whr gt ppl ask buy wich wan or buy wat wan?
must ownself think ma...
anything u buy, i'll like..
I watch alot drama, u cn go learn frm there la, u so free, ntg to do.. =)
Anyway, ups and downs we get through together throughout the month, n im glad that evrything turns to be better now..at least not lk how 1st 1st lk dat..
As time passes, i hope it will be better n better lar..
The 4 things.. I hope u can make it n i noe u can.. I hv faith in u..
take care tooo.. dun slp onia.. hehe...
Thanks for your iceeee..
vry cooling..
till then..
with S2,
~carolyn~..
cnt express/cnt complain properly
I hardly can express what i wana express..I hv difficulties in complaining..
I noe i love to complain...
emo-nyer...
Maybe the environment prob.. gosh.. blame environment pulak..
i juz feel tht sumtimes when i wana complain, i also felt lazy.. bcoz noone wud ever understand, sebaliknya, ppl wud hate you even more.. this is reality..
So, why not just kip the mouth shut, and watch..
pheww.. ppl wudn't appreciate, n thrfore, we dun hv to waste time to go care... time is gold...
damn sickening la weyh...
cnt just stop those sickening action ar? other ppl oso can feel.. why can't you?
Or maybe u are pretending, i don't know..
i know i am sarcastic at times.. But so what?
don't u realise u are doin the same thing?
Think 1st, why I wana be sarcastic in the 1st place?
Don't ask, Don't think, Don't bother...
I noe i love to complain...
emo-nyer...
Maybe the environment prob.. gosh.. blame environment pulak..
i juz feel tht sumtimes when i wana complain, i also felt lazy.. bcoz noone wud ever understand, sebaliknya, ppl wud hate you even more.. this is reality..
So, why not just kip the mouth shut, and watch..
pheww.. ppl wudn't appreciate, n thrfore, we dun hv to waste time to go care... time is gold...
damn sickening la weyh...
cnt just stop those sickening action ar? other ppl oso can feel.. why can't you?
Or maybe u are pretending, i don't know..
i know i am sarcastic at times.. But so what?
don't u realise u are doin the same thing?
Think 1st, why I wana be sarcastic in the 1st place?
Don't ask, Don't think, Don't bother...
Thursday, October 29, 2009
H
I noe the truth..
But i regretted for asking.. i wish to noe, but now i regret.. how cum?
I didn't cry immediately after i heard it..But I cried hope to feel better, n telling myself it's over... but some of those words I know it won't over..
I noe i will encounter it 1 day, but i nvr noe it came in so quickly..
If i duno, maybe i can still lied to myself..
Anyway, im not gona blame u or me or any human..
at this moment, i might not be able to say dun tink den dun tink.. if i say can, im feelingless n im lying..
as i say, i wil jz not think bout it.. hopefuly you cn make me dun tink bout it.. hopefullly..
i dun wana ask, explain or express to u anymore, because the words and result u r goin to gv me, will still be the same..I noe what it is gona be.
at the same time, i dun wana make any difference in both of us.. i jus wan it to be like how we 1st got together.. but im still curious, how can u get attracted to me huh when thr's still stg around...
Honestly, the 1st month together, i felt it's the happiest moment i ever had.. n that is the time, i noe what love is all about. Sincerely, im happy during the 1st month.. i felt like , sum1 completely understand me, sum1 completely care about me, n completely noe what i want exactly.. during the hols, no matter how hard , we'll still meet up.. I miss those days although it's dangerous and quite challenging.. im hoping for those days once again..
However,as day gone by, i've learnt that, nothing is permanent in this world. nothing can be always the same.. Life is full of changes.. I can slowly feel the changes from the people around me, from the things that i've seen.. n in us..
Eventhough if it's changing, i hope that it's the least wan.. Bcoz i hate changes.. but no matter how i wish it will not change, it will still change.. im speechless..
Not that i wana force you to forget, but bcoz im afraid tht 1 day, when i put so much love on you, you will eventually leave me... I do not know whether the day will come or not as i couldn't predict what will happen in the future.. Im afraid tht i couldnt bear with it at tht time.. n thr's the reason y i said normal friends... I noe u might dun like it n make u tired as what u told me...
i am sorry for making u like that..
yes,sumtimes, i nvr think for you, b4 i talk.. i noe i hurt ppl, bt i oni realise oweys after i talk.
i didn't plan or think before i talk..i just open my mouth n start to shoot. i dun feel like thinkin or planning b4 i talk, bcoz i feel so no life la this kind of thing.. like saying script lk dat, so stupid lk cheater.. memang wana say that sentence wan, but scare to say, so plan b4 talk lk dat ahh.. eeyer..
I rdy work hard on thinking b4 talking since form 5, but i still lk tht ar, no cure wan.. what to do?
The fast n simple thinking budak lk me, oweys thinks that love is simple.. i thought love is as though only the both of us...
But now, she feels that it can be complicated at times..
Thanks for willing to tell me the truth.. n bcoz of the truth, it helps to build up a stronger me... I fell down ezly, thrfore i will nd to learn how to stand up again..
I will figure it myself how to get through this, bcoz noone can noe how it shud b, but only me and myself..
If i hv superpower, i wish to turn back time, go back to my past,n nvr cum to whr i am now..
in a way, i didnt regret cuming here, bcoz here is whr i learnt alot.. see alot different kind of people which i never get to see b4.. making a bunch of new friends and so on..
But the fact is,i cnt go back..i dun hv the power,so, i nd to kip looking forward nt backward,hoping for a happier tmr. and i hv to slowly "dissolve" it which i think is an uphill task..
I like this quote: "human must undergo sadness to grow"..
I think i grew up alot this month.. i min reali alot..
helplessly,
~carolyn~
='(
对你好的人，不一定是好人。
But i regretted for asking.. i wish to noe, but now i regret.. how cum?
I didn't cry immediately after i heard it..But I cried hope to feel better, n telling myself it's over... but some of those words I know it won't over..
I noe i will encounter it 1 day, but i nvr noe it came in so quickly..
If i duno, maybe i can still lied to myself..
Anyway, im not gona blame u or me or any human..
at this moment, i might not be able to say dun tink den dun tink.. if i say can, im feelingless n im lying..
as i say, i wil jz not think bout it.. hopefuly you cn make me dun tink bout it.. hopefullly..
i dun wana ask, explain or express to u anymore, because the words and result u r goin to gv me, will still be the same..I noe what it is gona be.
at the same time, i dun wana make any difference in both of us.. i jus wan it to be like how we 1st got together.. but im still curious, how can u get attracted to me huh when thr's still stg around...
Honestly, the 1st month together, i felt it's the happiest moment i ever had.. n that is the time, i noe what love is all about. Sincerely, im happy during the 1st month.. i felt like , sum1 completely understand me, sum1 completely care about me, n completely noe what i want exactly.. during the hols, no matter how hard , we'll still meet up.. I miss those days although it's dangerous and quite challenging.. im hoping for those days once again..
However,as day gone by, i've learnt that, nothing is permanent in this world. nothing can be always the same.. Life is full of changes.. I can slowly feel the changes from the people around me, from the things that i've seen.. n in us..
Eventhough if it's changing, i hope that it's the least wan.. Bcoz i hate changes.. but no matter how i wish it will not change, it will still change.. im speechless..
Not that i wana force you to forget, but bcoz im afraid tht 1 day, when i put so much love on you, you will eventually leave me... I do not know whether the day will come or not as i couldn't predict what will happen in the future.. Im afraid tht i couldnt bear with it at tht time.. n thr's the reason y i said normal friends... I noe u might dun like it n make u tired as what u told me...
i am sorry for making u like that..
yes,sumtimes, i nvr think for you, b4 i talk.. i noe i hurt ppl, bt i oni realise oweys after i talk.
i didn't plan or think before i talk..i just open my mouth n start to shoot. i dun feel like thinkin or planning b4 i talk, bcoz i feel so no life la this kind of thing.. like saying script lk dat, so stupid lk cheater.. memang wana say that sentence wan, but scare to say, so plan b4 talk lk dat ahh.. eeyer..
I rdy work hard on thinking b4 talking since form 5, but i still lk tht ar, no cure wan.. what to do?
The fast n simple thinking budak lk me, oweys thinks that love is simple.. i thought love is as though only the both of us...
But now, she feels that it can be complicated at times..
Thanks for willing to tell me the truth.. n bcoz of the truth, it helps to build up a stronger me... I fell down ezly, thrfore i will nd to learn how to stand up again..
I will figure it myself how to get through this, bcoz noone can noe how it shud b, but only me and myself..
If i hv superpower, i wish to turn back time, go back to my past,n nvr cum to whr i am now..
in a way, i didnt regret cuming here, bcoz here is whr i learnt alot.. see alot different kind of people which i never get to see b4.. making a bunch of new friends and so on..
But the fact is,i cnt go back..i dun hv the power,so, i nd to kip looking forward nt backward,hoping for a happier tmr. and i hv to slowly "dissolve" it which i think is an uphill task..
I like this quote: "human must undergo sadness to grow"..
I think i grew up alot this month.. i min reali alot..
helplessly,
~carolyn~
='(
对你好的人，不一定是好人。
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Hurtful
nothing to do with any1, is juz my random thoughts again..
Im sorry, i lied that i will nvr think bout it..
I guess u know that, but I duno why im asking for the truth.. i juz randomly wanted to know so much at that moment..
But somehow, i can stop guessing... I dun hv to guess n make my own hypothesis nymore... anyway, hypothesis accepted..
I duno how much time you need in order to "digest" it, and i duno whether can you totally forget it or not, n at the same time, I duno how long can i stay "cool" like that..
i guess this is juz a starting point.. evry story has it's climax rite, .. thrfore, I blieve it has more to come..
the sweetest moment in my life, n the bitterest moment in my life at this moment, i tasted it all in juz a short period of time.. i nvr say whole life, i min 18 yrs oni..
Will I hv any more sweet moment in the future? n the bitter wan izit the bitterest wan i rdy had? i nvr know..
Actually i duno lor, izit bitter anot? mayb bitter sweet, or soursweet or bittersour ke? sigh..
when i to start think with my mind, i juz non-stop asking myself that, do i owe them in my last life? what've i did to them?
Why everything related juz lk in a circle? I couldn't understand..
I feel suffocated liao.. how nice, if evrything can start from the begining again.. n i guess i noe what i suppose to do, n what i shud nvr do or try...
or i shud Let It Go...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Random
Things just kip spinning on my mind.. I couldn't get it off.. Why?
But at least, I feel better than the 1st week lor..
During that week, I feel im reli lost that I cudn't even find my way back to my own..
I kip my mouth shut lk got gold inside.. I talk until so damn teruk sarcastic..
I fake my laugh until my kawan oso noe.. I oso cannot stand myself.. Therefore, i oweys cry, hope to feel better the nxt day.. It does work at times..
But I've cut down on thinking of that, by doin other things ( i rdy did try le).. lk eating sushi !! yum yum.. n i kisiao wan lor, got room dunwan slp, i walk til the last block thr n slp.. but i've fun.. hahahaha..
sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When Im damn gila playing dy, suddenly I stop n think a few second... So, not me edy.. huhu..
For last time, i wud bla my problems to Amrit n Bernard.. But nw both oso form 6, vry bz.. wuwuwu.. Maybe bla-ing to them and they would gv me a time to laugh with their lame jokes.. hahaha.. especially amrit the clown..
But bla-ing to Jon is oso a gud choice..although no lame jokes, but i got advice... But sumtimes, not i dun1 to tell u, but bcoz they are sum1 u noe too.. U will hv difficulties telling me oso.. Both oso u wana care for, I know..
But anyhow, I oso tell u rdy.. =)
Yesterday ar, my dad saw my pic in my purse.. fuhh.. half dead mann.. ask me sumore, n i lied.. i can go TVB jadi actress dy la, haha..
i lied twice yday.. I said i go study at friend's hse, but actually I went and study with Jon at Starbuck.. fuhhseh.. u see kids today like carolyn, sungguh pandai berbohong oo.. But, i go n study ma, not go n play bowling oso rite..hehehe..
At least, i get to revise my MATHS --SERIES... n sum bio, gaseous exchange..
How bout u ar Jon? did u manage to get sumthing into ur mind? I reli hope you did..
my dad wait at balcony thr see i cum bk with hu, i guess ler.. luckily i drive myself.. fyi, he dun even noe i drive the car away.. aiyo..
Oh ya, yday i think i lost rm 50.. I oweys lost money.. when only i will chnge this "giving money" attitude? no wonder i oweys so broke la.. bcoz i gv money away alot.. But, i rmb i put in inside my purse de.. But bo liao eh...
I noe the value of money wan.. I noe how hard is it to earn a penny.. Although I like to buy buy things,shop shop ar, but mum n dad, i assured u when i grow up, i will treasured my money, n buy what is necessary only as what u all taught me.. but eventhough i lk to buy, i didnt buy those padini clothes ar, vincci shoes ar, i din buy those branded branded thing alot lor.. =)
Sumtimes, i feel im selfish in my family.. I hardly teach my sister her homework, coz she seldom ask me.. this is bcoz i too panas baran, she scare.. i tch 1 time, she duno, den I shout at her.. vry bad wan me.. den my mum oso oweys say me.. laz time, i hardly listen la.. but now as i grew older, i started to think myself.. Yes, indeed im quite selfish.. Maybe im used to be alone b4 i had my sisters.. 4 years all by myself, n therefore a little here n thr, i hv sum selfish attitude..
My mum oweys tell me jaga my temper, dun oweys so hot temper, later my friend oso scare me dun be so kecil hati..later nxt time my boss cnt tahan me.. but kecil hati, i cnt help it... haih..
n oso accept what ppl says bout me.. wah, dis wan, from the bottom of my heart, truly,faithfully, sincerely i cnt do it YET... but not evrything oso accept la.. accept those which is fact..
but since my mum tell me lk dat, so i oso nd to make my brain think bit la, izit true ar ppl say lk dat.. maybe? n i will try to chnge..
But u noe why i dun accept?n dun chnge? Because i oweys think that, WHY do i need to chnge bcoz of other ppl? I live for myself, not for others... This is my concept in life.. I oweys think lk dat..
But yday nite, I think alone again.. Yes, im living for myself.. But this world is not only for me, so thrfore.. i cnt be so stubborn wan ma correct bo?.. Living as though the whole planet is mine.. so selfish meh.. cnt lk dat le... So, I'll try to change.. u din see wrongly la, im reli trying to change.. =)
But the process of changing needs masa lor.. how cn change in a week or two wan? man man lai ler.. haha.. I wud lk to make some changes in myself, n hopefully i will be able to find back my myself in the planet.. duno whr la wei... aiyoo..
I blieve i cn do it...
So that, my mum and dad no nd worry about me... dun nd to worry i duno how to jaga adik..
Jon might me happier? maybe...
But most importantly, i must be happy of my transformation oso..
Because still.......
I LIVE FOR MYSELF is my concept..
Prinsip aku ler.. i jz wana b nt so selfish oni, think for others a bit.. a little bit.. blek..
hahaha..if i chnge, but myself not happy, den reli useless..
1 thing i realised ar, the way parent teach their child is damn important... if u duno how to teach ur kid, there goes he/she to bcum no manners, no moral n etc..... after they reach adoloscent, lagi hard to teach.. sigh... Nxt time ar my children sekalian, i will teach properly.. hahahahaha..
my Valentine n Valentino...if nt, bring go let my mum tch la. ahahahahaha.. sampat po..
Ok la, tired of crapping.. tonite bck to inti.. but i will be happy wan.. =)
i can actually crap alot mann.. not bad........
till then
ps: jon jon jon.. ur essay i submitted at the comment there..huhu
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Not that I will nvr 4g3t.. Im trying my vry best to forget bout it.. I noe tht, 5mins words will nvr beat the time v spent 2gthr. But at times, when i wana do stg, i oweys feels lk sumthing haunting me.. I cnt do dis, i cnt do tht.
will we go n eat steamboat lk laz time again? lepaking at bagan lalang again? no more "on den on" rite? if tht incident nvr happen, we will still carry on lk dat kan? anyway, im juz giving example ler.. like jia jia i wana go steamboat, den i nd to think alot times ma, cnt wan go den go nymore..
Dun u realise i oweys ask u to make decision lately? Im afraid to make any decision nymore, bcoz sum decision made doesn't involve both of us oni, but oso other ppl.. n coz of dat, the feeling came back again..
i knew that, thinking those bad moments makes me suffer.. n tht is why, i wanted to go hang out wif my friends, lk i went for sushi with them, to gv myself sum laugh.. so that i can be out of sight n out of mind of things i dun1 to see.. 没错，我在逃避。
I cnt care much how ppl think of me nymore, bcoz i reli nd a breathe.. As long as u noe what person i am, den other than tht, i wouldnt care much..I tink u wont noe tht, in class im oso breatheless, i eventhough duno which place i suppose to sit..i nd to be so fake to talk to sum ppl oso.. thats is oso 1 reason why i wana go out frm college even more.. i nd to talk so fake bcoz ppl talk to me sarcasticly, i dun feel comfortable
Sincerely, I reli hope to be the one, that u 1st meet.. be with you like how we used to be with each other b4 things happen.. gv me a little more time.. I blieve i cn find bk myself wit u by my side..
r u willing to accompany me to find myself bk? =)
anyway, thanksszz for ur advice.. i appreciate lotzz.. i will feel better as day gone by eventhough if i can't, at least i noe that there is still ppl hu care for me n im happy enuf..
will we go n eat steamboat lk laz time again? lepaking at bagan lalang again? no more "on den on" rite? if tht incident nvr happen, we will still carry on lk dat kan? anyway, im juz giving example ler.. like jia jia i wana go steamboat, den i nd to think alot times ma, cnt wan go den go nymore..
Dun u realise i oweys ask u to make decision lately? Im afraid to make any decision nymore, bcoz sum decision made doesn't involve both of us oni, but oso other ppl.. n coz of dat, the feeling came back again..
i knew that, thinking those bad moments makes me suffer.. n tht is why, i wanted to go hang out wif my friends, lk i went for sushi with them, to gv myself sum laugh.. so that i can be out of sight n out of mind of things i dun1 to see.. 没错，我在逃避。
I cnt care much how ppl think of me nymore, bcoz i reli nd a breathe.. As long as u noe what person i am, den other than tht, i wouldnt care much..I tink u wont noe tht, in class im oso breatheless, i eventhough duno which place i suppose to sit..i nd to be so fake to talk to sum ppl oso.. thats is oso 1 reason why i wana go out frm college even more.. i nd to talk so fake bcoz ppl talk to me sarcasticly, i dun feel comfortable
Sincerely, I reli hope to be the one, that u 1st meet.. be with you like how we used to be with each other b4 things happen.. gv me a little more time.. I blieve i cn find bk myself wit u by my side..
r u willing to accompany me to find myself bk? =)
anyway, thanksszz for ur advice.. i appreciate lotzz.. i will feel better as day gone by eventhough if i can't, at least i noe that there is still ppl hu care for me n im happy enuf..
Monday, October 12, 2009
sometimesss arr
sometimes ar.. im doin things that i actually dun wana do it..
n sumtimes, i dun do things that i wana do..
It's lk, duno hw 2say..
Since then... i duno how, when now i see sumthing that i reli wana sound out my ketidakpuasan, but i still hold back... Why leh?
Now talking oso gt restriction.. so sad case mann..
N we actually planned to go to seremban2 k... talk until so damn nice...
But as we think twice.. sumthing restrict it again... haih..
why isit this world so weird at times? n make me dun understand la...
n bcoz of lots of restriction n alot thing ar, caplang... U see.. i nd to do a private blog, for my own to sound out.. huhu...
Not evry1 around me cn be trusted.. They might seemss damn can trust wan la, but in the end, they might be 1 of the human hu actually the one hu betray u, or u say la sumthing lk pengintip.. u name it urself..
recently, i feel alot of up n downs... Im happy bcoz i hv my friends, n yeah.. i got this friend of mine, who willing to be friend again... Actually, we nvr talk lk bout 2 months lor... since before last sem's exam... we nvr talk not bcoz of i n the friend gt prob, it is actually gotta to with sum1 else.. sumtimes i reli duno lor.. y can relate relate until dun talk to each other wan leh..
Sumtimes, ppl are hard to judge.. eventhough their packaging is damn perfect.. But somehow, u duno wats inside.. he/she cud be 100000% perfect in front of ppl, n gv a vry good impression when u 1st see she/he.. But as day gone by, evrything gonna chnge...
People around me oso lk dAT la.. oni 1 i guess? hehehuhu...
facing diff ppl, hv diff faces...
maybe u might say, im oso lk dat..
But i can tell u im not..
up to u to judge la..
But yeah, i lk to emo.. huhu.. But who cares?
Im not happy, den i show not happy face la..
I dun feel shuang, den bu shuang face la..
Why the hell do i nd to hide?
after all, is me myself wat...
I like to show, because i dun like to tell.. That is me...
Okie, im feeling real tired of explaining myself, continue in the next secret post..
cya..
n sumtimes, i dun do things that i wana do..
It's lk, duno hw 2say..
Since then... i duno how, when now i see sumthing that i reli wana sound out my ketidakpuasan, but i still hold back... Why leh?
Now talking oso gt restriction.. so sad case mann..
N we actually planned to go to seremban2 k... talk until so damn nice...
But as we think twice.. sumthing restrict it again... haih..
why isit this world so weird at times? n make me dun understand la...
n bcoz of lots of restriction n alot thing ar, caplang... U see.. i nd to do a private blog, for my own to sound out.. huhu...
Not evry1 around me cn be trusted.. They might seemss damn can trust wan la, but in the end, they might be 1 of the human hu actually the one hu betray u, or u say la sumthing lk pengintip.. u name it urself..
recently, i feel alot of up n downs... Im happy bcoz i hv my friends, n yeah.. i got this friend of mine, who willing to be friend again... Actually, we nvr talk lk bout 2 months lor... since before last sem's exam... we nvr talk not bcoz of i n the friend gt prob, it is actually gotta to with sum1 else.. sumtimes i reli duno lor.. y can relate relate until dun talk to each other wan leh..
Sumtimes, ppl are hard to judge.. eventhough their packaging is damn perfect.. But somehow, u duno wats inside.. he/she cud be 100000% perfect in front of ppl, n gv a vry good impression when u 1st see she/he.. But as day gone by, evrything gonna chnge...
People around me oso lk dAT la.. oni 1 i guess? hehehuhu...
facing diff ppl, hv diff faces...
maybe u might say, im oso lk dat..
But i can tell u im not..
up to u to judge la..
But yeah, i lk to emo.. huhu.. But who cares?
Im not happy, den i show not happy face la..
I dun feel shuang, den bu shuang face la..
Why the hell do i nd to hide?
after all, is me myself wat...
I like to show, because i dun like to tell.. That is me...
Okie, im feeling real tired of explaining myself, continue in the next secret post..
cya..
Sunday, October 11, 2009
s.e.c.r.e.t no more...
The secret revealed here.. =)
Jon.. is kononnya my long lost friend.. ahahha..
I dono hw I start to likie him.. he say i chase him, i say he chase me..
But the chasing thingy is not important anymore as long as he likes me n i like him.. huhu..
He is my standard 6 classmate.. this wan i din lie.. reli wan ler.. i said he is my long lost friend, oso real wan.. bcoz reli lost long time ago..
2months together.. I bet he nvr rmb the date... he oweys say sunday sunday..
But is not sunday la my dear.. itu monday, bukan ahad.. its 3rd august.. okie.. =p
dun ask la y like him.. bcoz i terlike, so i like rdy.. u see.. bcoz he is handsome enough to me.. hahaha.. ok, cut the crap..
He has something in him, dat i like, so I like..
although sincerely speaking. he care more bout others than me.. sumtimess la... but tiba-tiba his care cum bk to me.. i oso dun understand at times.. but nvm la, in the process of reading his mind... although he is not tht kind of guy hu oweys give gf flower, present, whatever la but
its not important, bcoz all i need is just to be with him, not with his gift.. =)
but tht doesn't mean u dun nd to gv ah, i tell u ah.. hahahaha.. jk..
anyway. thanks for being my chunted bf throughout this 2 months.. although it had some sad moment in it, which i dun reli cn 4get bout it .. But i believe i will get through it with you by my side.. i sudah promise u rite.. forget bout it.. i will try my best..
ehh, not bcoz i had promise oni i forget okie.. nt u pek me..
terima kasih banyak bnyak, tht when I need help, need to do sumthing, u will oweys willing to be thr 4me.. just lk pergi do tht lost IC.. without u, i will hv to go all alone..
n yeah, oweys fetching bAck, make me reach home earlier than oweys...
Jon.. is kononnya my long lost friend.. ahahha..
I dono hw I start to likie him.. he say i chase him, i say he chase me..
But the chasing thingy is not important anymore as long as he likes me n i like him.. huhu..
He is my standard 6 classmate.. this wan i din lie.. reli wan ler.. i said he is my long lost friend, oso real wan.. bcoz reli lost long time ago..
2months together.. I bet he nvr rmb the date... he oweys say sunday sunday..
But is not sunday la my dear.. itu monday, bukan ahad.. its 3rd august.. okie.. =p
dun ask la y like him.. bcoz i terlike, so i like rdy.. u see.. bcoz he is handsome enough to me.. hahaha.. ok, cut the crap..
He has something in him, dat i like, so I like..
although sincerely speaking. he care more bout others than me.. sumtimess la... but tiba-tiba his care cum bk to me.. i oso dun understand at times.. but nvm la, in the process of reading his mind... although he is not tht kind of guy hu oweys give gf flower, present, whatever la but
its not important, bcoz all i need is just to be with him, not with his gift.. =)
but tht doesn't mean u dun nd to gv ah, i tell u ah.. hahahaha.. jk..
anyway. thanks for being my chunted bf throughout this 2 months.. although it had some sad moment in it, which i dun reli cn 4get bout it .. But i believe i will get through it with you by my side.. i sudah promise u rite.. forget bout it.. i will try my best..
ehh, not bcoz i had promise oni i forget okie.. nt u pek me..
terima kasih banyak bnyak, tht when I need help, need to do sumthing, u will oweys willing to be thr 4me.. just lk pergi do tht lost IC.. without u, i will hv to go all alone..
n yeah, oweys fetching bAck, make me reach home earlier than oweys...
=P 
Outside of the tiger cage..
Hmph !!
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Zoooo Negara =)
spot the cuties..
thanks for the chicken.. hahaha
I can !! U can, but u duno how to.. hahaha
Ice-cream... Im lovin it
Bagan lalang rox
Zoooo Negara =)
spot the cuties..thanks for the chicken.. hahahaI can !! U can, but u duno how to.. hahahaIce-cream... Im lovin it
Bagan lalang roxFlipping back through those pictures we took in the past 2months...it shows that we had much happy moments compare to the sad one.. so.. i noe theres is no reason for me to oweys gv u "dark face" bcoz of those silly incident n lifeless human on earth, as i hv a little confident to make more happy moment to cover up those sad wan... =)
Sorrry for oweys making u sad, with some of my words.. Maybe some words might hurt u, which i duno.. coz u wont tell wan i noe.. thrfore, here i apologise to you..
thanksszz for ur shoulder n support all dis while, whenever im sad, feeling helpless..
Dear Mr Jon Lau,
I S2 You...
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
i hate
I hate I hate...
These few days im feeling lk hell..
Lk im in the wrong world, different place..
ppl seems vry awkward 2me..
especially those ppl..
I don't know why the hell that im just not able to forget bout that damn problem..
Is like sumthing bothering me okie...
I tried my vry best to 4get bout it, but I still fail to do so..
I promised him to forget bout it, but somehow somewhere, that thing still pop up in my mind without warning..
I think of breaking up.. but when I think twice, izit worth it?
The problem is not between the 2 of us..
but, it's bcoz some ppl hu loves my bf so much n scare he get cheated by me.. what the heck..(im sory if i hurt u, when i say this, my bf..)
that part was the most hurtful wan.. noone will ever noe, how the feeling is..
I dun mind what she/he says bout me.. But the sentence she/he told.. reli vry vry hurtful.. to me la..
is lk.. my bf dono his gf is dat kind of girl.. therefore.. she nd to ask sum ppl to tell him that i am tht kind of girl.. who are u to judge me? huh!?
It was like me, myself, I am CHEATING him !!..
im soooooooooooooooooooooooo... i duno hw 2 express.. the feeling of angry n hurt..
why izit there is oweys other ppl between us?
i nvr understand..
~to be continued~
These few days im feeling lk hell..
Lk im in the wrong world, different place..
ppl seems vry awkward 2me..
especially those ppl..
I don't know why the hell that im just not able to forget bout that damn problem..
Is like sumthing bothering me okie...
I tried my vry best to 4get bout it, but I still fail to do so..
I promised him to forget bout it, but somehow somewhere, that thing still pop up in my mind without warning..
I think of breaking up.. but when I think twice, izit worth it?
The problem is not between the 2 of us..
but, it's bcoz some ppl hu loves my bf so much n scare he get cheated by me.. what the heck..(im sory if i hurt u, when i say this, my bf..)
that part was the most hurtful wan.. noone will ever noe, how the feeling is..
I dun mind what she/he says bout me.. But the sentence she/he told.. reli vry vry hurtful.. to me la..
is lk.. my bf dono his gf is dat kind of girl.. therefore.. she nd to ask sum ppl to tell him that i am tht kind of girl.. who are u to judge me? huh!?
It was like me, myself, I am CHEATING him !!..
im soooooooooooooooooooooooo... i duno hw 2 express.. the feeling of angry n hurt..
why izit there is oweys other ppl between us?
i nvr understand..
~to be continued~
Saturday, October 3, 2009
cry lk nobodys business
for the 1st time, I cry lk nobody's business in inti...
I dono whats the reason 4me to cry when it's actually not a big thing to cry..
But it hurts lor.. People who dun understnd will gv me stupid idiotic words...
N im reli pissed off with that..
WHO THE SHIT HELL ARE YOU NOW?!
n my boyfriend is a soft-hearted guy.. evrything is ok for him.. eventhough he is angry or sad or watever la, he hardly show out his feeling.. but this is wat he is, what can i do besides accept?
n i hv nothing to blame on him as its reli nothing to do with him..
I saw him crying as well, i feel vry sorry...
But who understands my feeling??
My image gone ok..
Yala.. proooove la.. evry1 evry ppl ask me to proove proove proof and im tired of that word..
At the vry 1st place, why must I proove to u? who r u to me? eventhough i wana proof, is not for you idiotic specimen to see, it's my hardwork for my parent.
It's my life ok, who are you to care.?
not to say what, under my no thinking brain, i tink of breaking up.. n tis proooooved that i m a damn ez to influence ppl, n i am not strong enough.. Because of rumours n those shitty idiot on earth, i tink of breaking up liao.. so faz wan dan..
of coz i dun1 la.. but im scare rdy.. how ppl judge me when they see me? n when rumours spread to his parent, then ppl will feel lk "ehh ur son's gf i heard vry terrible girl leh.."
at tht time, not only my image gone, his image oso gone, n his parent image oso gone..
Thanks to idiotic specimen on earth..
Haih.. I hv nothing to say bside crying.. im vry sad.... but i've promise him not to think anymore..
But if u are in my place? how? hw wud u think?
You are not me, you cant understand what im thinking, whats my feeling..
I am vry Sorry..
I dono whats the reason 4me to cry when it's actually not a big thing to cry..
But it hurts lor.. People who dun understnd will gv me stupid idiotic words...
N im reli pissed off with that..
WHO THE SHIT HELL ARE YOU NOW?!
n my boyfriend is a soft-hearted guy.. evrything is ok for him.. eventhough he is angry or sad or watever la, he hardly show out his feeling.. but this is wat he is, what can i do besides accept?
n i hv nothing to blame on him as its reli nothing to do with him..
I saw him crying as well, i feel vry sorry...
But who understands my feeling??
My image gone ok..
Yala.. proooove la.. evry1 evry ppl ask me to proove proove proof and im tired of that word..
At the vry 1st place, why must I proove to u? who r u to me? eventhough i wana proof, is not for you idiotic specimen to see, it's my hardwork for my parent.
It's my life ok, who are you to care.?
not to say what, under my no thinking brain, i tink of breaking up.. n tis proooooved that i m a damn ez to influence ppl, n i am not strong enough.. Because of rumours n those shitty idiot on earth, i tink of breaking up liao.. so faz wan dan..
of coz i dun1 la.. but im scare rdy.. how ppl judge me when they see me? n when rumours spread to his parent, then ppl will feel lk "ehh ur son's gf i heard vry terrible girl leh.."
at tht time, not only my image gone, his image oso gone, n his parent image oso gone..
Thanks to idiotic specimen on earth..
Haih.. I hv nothing to say bside crying.. im vry sad.... but i've promise him not to think anymore..
But if u are in my place? how? hw wud u think?
You are not me, you cant understand what im thinking, whats my feeling..
I am vry Sorry..
Monday, September 21, 2009
What am I suppose to do?
Im so sad..
Sometimes, i feel like giving up..
But i cannot do so.. Because im serious in it..
Im not playing..
But im just too tired at times..
seriously..
Im feeling so lost.. What am I actually..
Am I just sum grasss?
im selfish.. yes i noe..
But what i demand for izit too over?
I just want sum attention, not gift,not money.. Isit too over?
Mayb it is..
i reli dono how.. If im gonna say it all out, im sure it will hurt.. But if i dun tell, noone gonna noe..
seriously, i duno what shud i do.......
Why people can be just so happy?
Im so sad..
Sometimes, i feel like giving up..
But i cannot do so.. Because im serious in it..
Im not playing..
But im just too tired at times..
seriously..
Im feeling so lost.. What am I actually..
Am I just sum grasss?
im selfish.. yes i noe..
But what i demand for izit too over?
I just want sum attention, not gift,not money.. Isit too over?
Mayb it is..
i reli dono how.. If im gonna say it all out, im sure it will hurt.. But if i dun tell, noone gonna noe..
seriously, i duno what shud i do.......
Why people can be just so happy?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
lovie....
The day I started.. I know it's dangerous..
Somehow, I just started it..
I couldn't predict what will happen if 1 day mum noes or huever noes..
I will just tell the truth..
I know being in underground wasnt fair la.. since his mum noe, by rite.. I shud let mine noe too..
But.. haihz.. I need to reli finish off my a-levels 1st la.. n bring back an acceptable result..
I scare ler.. I scare he wud feeel bad..
I noe he will.. Lain di hati, lain di mulut..
I oweys make him feeeel bad, so I feeel im bad tooooo. well u noe.. haizzz..
I duno how long can it lAst..
But i hope it can last as long as it could...
I duno la, i reli lk him or not.. Maybe? or yes la..
I just feeeel comfortable being together with him..
He noes my word in my mind.. so.. no matter what isit.. i will try my best to make him dun feel bad la.. 1 more thing, he can stand my emo noe.. but i think sooner or later, he oso will fan.. so i tink, i shall stop it ler..
n till den..
Love you.. S2...
Somehow, I just started it..
I couldn't predict what will happen if 1 day mum noes or huever noes..
I will just tell the truth..
I know being in underground wasnt fair la.. since his mum noe, by rite.. I shud let mine noe too..
But.. haihz.. I need to reli finish off my a-levels 1st la.. n bring back an acceptable result..
I scare ler.. I scare he wud feeel bad..
I noe he will.. Lain di hati, lain di mulut..
I oweys make him feeeel bad, so I feeel im bad tooooo. well u noe.. haizzz..
I duno how long can it lAst..
But i hope it can last as long as it could...
I duno la, i reli lk him or not.. Maybe? or yes la..
I just feeeel comfortable being together with him..
He noes my word in my mind.. so.. no matter what isit.. i will try my best to make him dun feel bad la.. 1 more thing, he can stand my emo noe.. but i think sooner or later, he oso will fan.. so i tink, i shall stop it ler..
n till den..
Love you.. S2...
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Selfish
I cannot stand la..
sumtimes people can be so selfish.. I also duno why..
I didnt say that I am NOT, but sumtimes, ppl cn be just too over with that..
Evrybody feel dat the particular person is damn good, but do u realize that it's actually their image?? Image is use to cover ur trueself for your information..
So, frm now onwards, i would just stick to my stuff n don't care bout the others... whatever they say, whatever shit they bull just leave it a side n continue my things..
As a human being in the earth, or a person.. WE shall THINK BEFORE WE TALK..
Don't anything oso bla out... so disgusting..
n pls dont act... act pity, act cute or watever, get lost la...
yala, they are great, so what?!
I had enough, Thank You.
sumtimes people can be so selfish.. I also duno why..
I didnt say that I am NOT, but sumtimes, ppl cn be just too over with that..
Evrybody feel dat the particular person is damn good, but do u realize that it's actually their image?? Image is use to cover ur trueself for your information..
So, frm now onwards, i would just stick to my stuff n don't care bout the others... whatever they say, whatever shit they bull just leave it a side n continue my things..
As a human being in the earth, or a person.. WE shall THINK BEFORE WE TALK..
Don't anything oso bla out... so disgusting..
n pls dont act... act pity, act cute or watever, get lost la...
yala, they are great, so what?!
I had enough, Thank You.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
it's true man
recently, my friend broke up with her bf that she berkenalan during NS...
Ala, namanya cinta kontrak.. haih...
So, she satill love that guy.. she told me she damn like him, wanna start all over again..
she called him, but he doesn't wana pickup...
I ask her to forget him, coZ he reli lk play boy.. i dun lk him.. But she so love him la.. so suka, so likie.. She kip on ask me how how how..
n so, i came up with..
"ehh u go make 1 card for him, ns foto u go print sum out n stick on the card gv him, let him flashback those lovely moments"
n she reli did it !!.. Really.. she post it to his house, n after 3 days, that guy received it n gv her a call..walao weh !!!at 1st he dun wan pickup, but now he call her !!!
huhu.. sukses sukses sukses. !!
The actual thing i wana tell u is, those drama mmg nice wan.. They show it lk dat bcoz in reality is lk dat.. i give her the idea based on what i watch from those HK drama.. hahhaa...
So, drama mmg gt use wan okie.. hahaha
Ala, namanya cinta kontrak.. haih...
So, she satill love that guy.. she told me she damn like him, wanna start all over again..
she called him, but he doesn't wana pickup...
I ask her to forget him, coZ he reli lk play boy.. i dun lk him.. But she so love him la.. so suka, so likie.. She kip on ask me how how how..
n so, i came up with..
"ehh u go make 1 card for him, ns foto u go print sum out n stick on the card gv him, let him flashback those lovely moments"
n she reli did it !!.. Really.. she post it to his house, n after 3 days, that guy received it n gv her a call..walao weh !!!at 1st he dun wan pickup, but now he call her !!!
huhu.. sukses sukses sukses. !!
The actual thing i wana tell u is, those drama mmg nice wan.. They show it lk dat bcoz in reality is lk dat.. i give her the idea based on what i watch from those HK drama.. hahhaa...
So, drama mmg gt use wan okie.. hahaha
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Mind your own business
some ppl just couldnt mind their own business..
I don't know why.. Not that he/she is a great human...
The ultimate or whatever one...
who are you to teach me wat shud i do or what I not to do??!!??!!
HUh?!?! Huh?!
pest...
My blog is my blog.,. MINE ! im the owner...
The place whr i share my laughter n my sorrows, n oso MY PLACE to release my ANGER !!!
Who are you to tell me how can i say that?
y not?
it's my page after alllllllllllllll !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You thought you are great enough?! you thought u are the best in the universe, in the planet?
Please think twice !!! You're not great okay?!!?!!?!!
Just keep your mouth shut, n i'll thank you...
I don't care ppl saying me, kecil hati or whatever, as long as iM not happie with it, I release my anger.. n THAT's IT !
I HATE PPL HU THINK THEY ARE GREAT, BUT ACT THEY ARE NOT !!!
I like to say idot idiot idiot stupid stupid stupid.. so what??!!
idiot stupid idiot stupid ! So??? ask buever la, cum catch me la... idiotic...
Dun let me tell u dat most rough word... I am not in a good mood.. Stay further, don't mess with me IDIOT FOOL!!
I DON't NEED YOU TO TEACH ME WAT TO DO !!!!!!!!
Get lost !
I don't know why.. Not that he/she is a great human...
The ultimate or whatever one...
who are you to teach me wat shud i do or what I not to do??!!??!!
HUh?!?! Huh?!
pest...
My blog is my blog.,. MINE ! im the owner...
The place whr i share my laughter n my sorrows, n oso MY PLACE to release my ANGER !!!
Who are you to tell me how can i say that?
y not?
it's my page after alllllllllllllll !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You thought you are great enough?! you thought u are the best in the universe, in the planet?
Please think twice !!! You're not great okay?!!?!!?!!
Just keep your mouth shut, n i'll thank you...
I don't care ppl saying me, kecil hati or whatever, as long as iM not happie with it, I release my anger.. n THAT's IT !
I HATE PPL HU THINK THEY ARE GREAT, BUT ACT THEY ARE NOT !!!
I like to say idot idiot idiot stupid stupid stupid.. so what??!!
idiot stupid idiot stupid ! So??? ask buever la, cum catch me la... idiotic...
Dun let me tell u dat most rough word... I am not in a good mood.. Stay further, don't mess with me IDIOT FOOL!!
I DON't NEED YOU TO TEACH ME WAT TO DO !!!!!!!!
Get lost !
Sunday, March 29, 2009
confession?
G confesss... He tells me he like me.. Shyt wei.. Y shit? because he got girlfriend..
G: ei carolynnnnnnnn.. I wan tell you stg
me: wat is dat? tell la
G: I shy la...
me: huh? u shy ar? aiyoooooo... You with me oso shy ar?
G: yeah... actualy im very very shy.. But in camp im not.. i oso duno y, bcoz i happy maybe..
me: Ohh.. reli ar? nvm la, juz tell.. tcher say must b sporting..
G: oh yaya, sporting hor.. sporting
me: so.. tell la.. Tell !
G: Aiya, I shy la.. actually i wana tell something abt you la..
me: Me? I wat? wat I did?
G: emmm.. actually ar........................................... I like you...
Me: huh??????????? You like me???? you like me like how??
G: like that la..
Me: Ohh.. You like me as a cute friend ar... you say i cute ma
G: NO
Me: huh? wat no? You like me like you like ur girlfriend ar??
G: errr... something like that la..
Me: oh ok.. But dun la, ur girlfriend so good rdy..
G: err.. I like you la, you are my very very good friend..
Me: ok la like this... I oso like you as my very very good friend...
G: emm okie...
Me: emmmmmm...............
and I ran away after this conversation...
He is gentleman enuf, he has everything that a guy shud hv.. So, he is actually a very gud guy but just nt my type n i dun likie himmm... huhu
G: ei carolynnnnnnnn.. I wan tell you stg
me: wat is dat? tell la
G: I shy la...
me: huh? u shy ar? aiyoooooo... You with me oso shy ar?
G: yeah... actualy im very very shy.. But in camp im not.. i oso duno y, bcoz i happy maybe..
me: Ohh.. reli ar? nvm la, juz tell.. tcher say must b sporting..
G: oh yaya, sporting hor.. sporting
me: so.. tell la.. Tell !
G: Aiya, I shy la.. actually i wana tell something abt you la..
me: Me? I wat? wat I did?
G: emmm.. actually ar........................................... I like you...
Me: huh??????????? You like me???? you like me like how??
G: like that la..
Me: Ohh.. You like me as a cute friend ar... you say i cute ma
G: NO
Me: huh? wat no? You like me like you like ur girlfriend ar??
G: errr... something like that la..
Me: oh ok.. But dun la, ur girlfriend so good rdy..
G: err.. I like you la, you are my very very good friend..
Me: ok la like this... I oso like you as my very very good friend...
G: emm okie...
Me: emmmmmm...............
and I ran away after this conversation...
He is gentleman enuf, he has everything that a guy shud hv.. So, he is actually a very gud guy but just nt my type n i dun likie himmm... huhu
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