damn u whole family

I really hate that family.. u shift house den u shift... dun kip ask ppl go ur hse.. for what? show off how nice your hse is or wat? bloody hell u !
u treat ppl as a fren ar? or a useful tool? pls lah!... dun act....

no longer private

some, which i don't wich to show, i will only kip in my heart.. n now, dis blog is no longer been privatized.. This oso mean that, i dun give a damn on how u gonna judge me.. Up to you..
I DON'T CARE !! say whatever u want, or if u wana tell the whole world, i can't stop u too.. huhu..
go ahead, bye!

女人不吵了、不闹了、不叫了，就是真的不爱了

*女人说要离开，是伤心了，是你让他失望了.

*女人故意在你面前提到别的男人，不是她花心，只是想要刺激一下你，让你多在乎她一点

*女人不主动打电话、发信息给你，不是不想你，是她不够自信，你接到电话、
短信时，是否也同样的想念她 .

*如果女人不爱你，是不会对你发脾气的，不要报怨自己的女朋友脾气太怪，女人只对她爱的人发脾气.

她说:我不开心了,我好烦.
(不要怪她无理取闹,更不能觉得她在烦你,她不是真的不开心,她只是想你了.只是想要你会来安慰她一下...

她爱忧伤,总是会多想.
(不要觉得她是想太多,只是有时她会觉得缺乏安全感.)

她假装生气转身离开.
(其实,她不是真的想走,只是离开的时候希望被挽留.)

她会突然冷淡你,或是向你撒娇.
(别怪她孩子气,她只是想让你哄哄她.)

也许有一天她会跟你说分手.
(其实,这个时候她已经喜欢你好久,只是不确定这份感情是不是对的.她只是要你的安全感,你的舍不得,你的不要走……）

Leaving Inti?

sad? ya... bcoz of friends? ya...
sumtimes ppl jz get on my nerve too.. haih..
bt im oso happy leaving this sad place woohoo..!!
Dun nd to see those spies dy ! WAHAHA!! yay yay !! i can have my happy and carefree life back!!
Oh.. im so excited!

getting use to it...

i felt i had rdy get used to the moment u left me for other things.. For the 1st time, i cried like no tomorrow.. I just can't accept it... But for 2nd, 3rd, 4th time... It's lk im getting used to it.. Evrytime u left, my tears will still drop.. But it wouldnt be long anymore.. Coz i think that, no point crying.. coz ppl hu are worth u crying for, will nvr make you cry ~

The things you said to me, I can't forget.. I told myself to forget bout it. but i failed to do so... You told me that was because I din care ur feeling, so u don't need to care bout mine... N u told me coz u are mad, u exceed ur limit... Maybe that's you...

when you mad, i need to be like hamba, follow whatever u says.. i dun wish to do so...

1st year

I still rmb 3stg in the midnight on 3/8/09 after studying at dining hall.. we walk along the hostel street n u suddenly curi my hand, u dun1 let go me...bad.. I gastric that time, vry pain... n never bother so much.. n i tot it was just a dream -=)It's 3/8/2010 and we meet up 3something in the morning... it's around 3.40am... We had McD breakfast.. We waited for the menu to change at 4am.. haha ! due to the cold weather, we ta pao and eat in car...Then chit-chatted and go back to slp around 6am... The nxt day, after my class ended at 12pm, We went to Sunway pyramid.. Before that, He gave me a bouquet of flowers... 11 kuntum.. I duno what does that mean lah... But he says is yi xin yi yi... mins like loyalty.. huhu...I can't imagine he buy flowers weyh... He vry damn seldom buy flowers wan.. n this is the 1st time he bought real real real roses ! Lolx... sure bcoz ar, let me say say say until bangun dy lor..

11 kuntum bunga mawar..

Ohh.. den I gave him his tooo.. A Alain Delon gift set of a purse and a leather belt... His purse, like so old rdy lah, and his belt can use during presentation.. =) i noe im good in choosing gift ! hehe... I also gave him a memory scrap book.. I made myself wan ler =PAround 1 ++ we reached Sunway Pyramid, We went to the Cinema to see if there is any nice time slot for Sorcerer's Apprentice.. There's the only movie we wish to watch... coz already tangguh banyak lama... n alot ppl is saying NICeE!! n fortunately, We got the time we wanted ! 4.30pm... hehex... after buying ticket.. we went to sushi king for lunch... !

After that, we went and hunt for a photo frame and a vase... Photo frame is used to put 1 of our picture taken on the day.. and the vase is use to put the flowers.. But eventually we can't hunt for any vase.. It's either too big or not nice lar... not suitable it is... Then we hunt for the photo frame.. We chose 1 wich is nice ! but it oni have one.. So, we went and watch movie 1st, coz masa dah sampai lah.. hehe...

Sorcerer's Apprentice !!

After movie it's around 6 stg, and we hunt for the frame again... This time we chose another 1 and it had 2.. So we bought it... =) After that, snapping pictures around...

Sunway Lagoon as the background ! Coolzzz.. ! =)

After that, it's dinner time... He brought me to a place called BumBum Bali @ Puchong... They serve I duno called what... Western foood huh? erm... he says it's romantic... LOL...
I tink bcoz got candle light, so he thinks got romantic feel.. wahaha..We ordered a side order and a main course.. Plus a jug of Barli Limau.. he says its vry nice !

I guess this is the reason why it's romantic. =)

Him... the background is lk this lor...
hehe..

y his face lk dat wan arh !? lolz

This is what we order : Something looks like satay.. but is like err fishball? n this is chicken and fish combo...
We just order this both scare cannot finish.. =)The mashed potato is nice !
Overall, the meal is not bad.. hehe.. =)
Nxt time i dun1 dis wan pedas wan lar.. I dun1 pedas de..

After dinner, it's around 9.30 rdy... Imagine from puchong we are ging back to Nilai.. Around 1 hour journey... tired.. ~
Then i wanted to go toilet, coz drink too much barli limau.. But still wait till reach Inti... n when 1st ting rch inti, I run up to my room to the toilet... After that, only go down again to take things... Then he light up the candle on a heart shape cake...

A birthday cake for our 1 year old love.. lolz... The candle is special !
Fyi, this boy named jon... kept the cake in the car booot !... But he get a icebox to fill ice, and put the cake in it... wahaha !.. n so... the cake still taste vry fresh n cold.. although it stays in the car from morning before i end class till night...


Us with cake.. A heart-shaped cake.. =)

His scrapbook and purse+belt..

me with flowers and cake... got 1 more frame.. hehe.. no more hand.. =)

the candle light at the restaurant..

The photo frame =)

The flower buka dy, nice.. hehe

Happy 1 year old Love... I appreciate every single effort that you put in to make this special day a memorable one... Happie and felt lucky that we go through these 365 days... Although, there are days that I wanted to and nearly give up... You give me hopes and with your patience, we manage to go through it.. I know you want me to see your sincerity this day.. =)
Although i dun say it out, but that doesn't mean I don't know... Appreciate all the love and care you gave... =) I hope you like what i give you tooo.. =)


To my starlight,

With Love, carolyn

I don't feel like smiling again

Today, is a new day.. Supposingly, after a day long sleep, i will feel better.. But somehow, dis time... I DON'T...
Dunoo why?
Because in my mind, I care bout that too much... Im vry sensitive.. I know..

disappointed

Can you tell me what exactly am I to you?
Am I just an accessory for you when u have no accompany?
Am i just sum accompaniment for you?
Why should I trust you?
What I want isit so difficult or so hard for you?
I have no more hopes on you...
Totally disappointed..
You make me disappoint again and again...

sad day

i thought accepting whatever he says n endure it will reduce arguments.. why it is still the same?
im too over again? or ??
am i tie-ing him too hard... he can't breathe?
accompanying me will let ppl laugh? y wud he have this kind of thoughts?
i didnt give him privacy? wat is happening? from the starting till now, y he now oni sound out?
he dun love me for who i am, i accept, n i try to change, i accept what he says, i endure his words...
He dun realised? he dunoo?
do he still need me? or his heart no longer love me?
why every week he at least complain me once?
he said only when he sees me he wont argue, n he like to talk face to face with me...
but when he is given chance, he say he wana do his own things?
his action make me doubt his love 2wards me, but he dun lik i doubt him..
y oni he tink he suffering accompanying me? y dun he thiknk ,im trying hard to change to a person he likes... im chnging myself, he says he doesn't force, but he kip on attacking me in my process of changing, aren't it's anothr kind of force?
i juz hv a simple thinking, i jz hope we cn be togethr whenever we can, n i duno it cause such things like no own time, no dis n dat...
y i jz wan simple, n eevrything bcum so complicated?
he say i peras ugut, n when he doing same thing, he has no wrg, but only me...
y?
izit bcoz i oso gt study i accompany him study is nescessary? then if no study go n accompany ppl study ppl will laugh? isit like that??? isit??
actually how does love works? what is the definition on love?
isit all guys the same? starting they treat u so nice... nicest thing ever... then after a period of time oni they pick pick pick things on u... dis is good, dis is bad, i dun like u lk dat n lk dis.. isit human nature?

He treat me sincerely he said, but if he is, why he need to say all those stuff as like he put down his dignity, to accompany me? accompanying me isit so shit n no-face thing to do??
I dunooo...

Love

People hu sees us together, Sweet !
People hu know us, Sweet !!
perhaps pAsserby oso say Sweeet !
But the truth..?

I dunoo whether I had changed or he had changed..
I just feel things doesn't go well..
Maybe as he said, my expectation is too high...
But... the way he respond to me is it due to my expectation?
Even if my expectation is high, do he need to talk to me lk dat or treat me lk dat??
I admit he is good, he has great patience..

But now, slowly things starts to change...
i feel that he had changed into another person... He is no longer the one that i know...
I feel so scare when im communicating with him... as though he is a stranger..
For previous months, he wouldn't talk sarcasticly...

But now when he is not in his good mood, he will start talking like my history teacher wich those words has bone in it. It hurts..
Besides, for the past, no matter how is it, he willl not shooot me until i have no say... recently, whatever i said, he has things to throw back to me... so, whats the point eventhough i sound out..
He says he wants soft method... But he is treating me by hard method n he dun realise...
He don't like sum ways that i treat him, tut he treat me the way he dun like...
Do u tink i like it? since u dun like?

Last time when he had headache, he can still talk to me n so on... but now, he will just go like "im having headache, u dun ask me dun ask me anything, i duno hw to think" I was so heartbroken when he say this to me..
I noe if i din call him that day, we would have ended everything... But why do i call? i shudn't call right.?
I love him,i love how he use to be during the beginning.. but now..he is different

We have less thing to talk nowadays... He claims that if my dad noes bout our relationship everything will be better...
I didnt deny that... But r u reli sure thats the oni reason?
Do u think if my dad noes, eventhough when Im having class and he is on holiday, or both holiday, we can suddenly have things to talk?
We might be separating after my a-levels.. If in this condition, how can we keep our relationship stronger? i reli donno

I remember during my 1st sem break.. he would call me at night before sleep.. he says he wana listen my voice before he sleep.. But now,still he will call me.. but not for that purpose.. he call me mostly when we fight.. we talk fon oso fight... n sumtimes we hold on the fon, but keep quiet... wasting the fee.. haih...
Everything just seems different now.. he seldom call me to say things like before.. I dunoo what m i suppose to do..
I dun wish when he call me is to fight or anything..
Im reli down... I dunoo what shud i do.. reli... he say i oweys have lots of doubt about him.. But why am I having such doubt.. Bcoz when he talks,is like not clear.. in chinese vry mao dun... I oso duno how...Once he tell me that he likes me sharing my prob to him.. I remember that was 1 day before my 1st sem exam.. we sat near the drain..
But nowadays, when I talk to him, we end up arguing..
Yeah, when he ask i dun tell... every1 does the same right? who will straight way tell when we 1st ask?? but after i tell, why can't he just accept it n start discuss or pujuk me or whatever, instead keep blaming me why dun1 tell him earlier when he 1st ask, but after so long n late...
I just dunooo y he changed to be ;like that.... I feel so hard to communicate with him at time... in terms of we will end up argueing... n what i says he oweys throw back...

i noe how i treat him is nt consistent.. but when he treat me like that, i couldnt ask myself to kip on care.... haihh... i duno y m i lk dat...

In these 2 months.. Our fight increase alot.. Maybe is my character, my attitude... But isit true that everything is my fault? only i need to take responsibility?
Why can't he treat me like usual?
Y he need to talk with me like that ar?
Sometimes, is not I wana hv doubts u noe? it's the way he treat me, the way he talk to me that make me have lots of doubt...

Don't think im so happie being like what I am now.. how upset, how disappointed, how down am I , or even how much had I been crying, how much teardrops.... u will never know..

Teardrops on my pillow,
carolyn wong...

...

Happy 9th Month

Happppie 9th monthssss...








watched ipman2... went mahkota juscoooo n cheras selatan......

happy 8th months

happie 8th months......
it's the 8th month, all in all alot of things happen ya...
it's lucky that we manage to overcome it...
thanks for ur love n care...
You see ur face, not willing to take pic oso...hmph!

I wan alot alot loveee... =)

I want alot alot care wan..

dear dear... S2 S2

Happie 7th month...

You make me cry, make me smile... You are very bad... very very bad...
hmmm.. i also duno why the time pass so fast, cny oso finish rdy.. hulala...
You make me sad, very sad.. But i know lar, i got make you sad toooo... =)
So, draw ok.. haha...
Thanks for your card... and the Orientation Night ticket... hehehehe...
I forgive you.. hehexxxx... coz ur card so cute... actuali not cute, but i duno what word to describe.. ahahaha.. lolz...
Anyway, what i wana say is Happppie 7th Month !!!!!

forgive u ge? haha... ok, i forgiveee u..

this is ticket to watch miss n mr inti... haha... Orientation Night ! hehehe...
nah... you darling F4 get miss inti you vry the happpppie right?
go find her ler.. blekkkkkkkkkkkkkk =p

In this 7 months, our number of times of argument increases... lolzz... basicallllly like every week oso fight... wahlao weh... but due to ur patience, we bcum normal back... hmmmmm...
thanksss for your mmmm support during my test, n ur emm what sumore? haha... you tink urself la, what you think, is what i wana say.. hehehe...

Goooood Lucccckk for your test !!!
didn't send u sms, coz im moneylessss.. hehehex...
till thennn...

~carolrolrol~

Happie Valentine's Day

It's valentine day... Blog it out, so that if one day, the present lost sumwhr... I can hv sum copy here.. hahahahha...
It's 1st day of cny tooo.. hehehe... So coincidence.. haih.. at 1st, we thought of postponed it to white valentine on mar 14, delay 1 month.. hahahah... but is 1st time ma... jon lau dun feeel lk postpone-ing...
So, after i went to friend's hse, on the 1st day of cny, I chao earlier and I went and meet up with that ehem so called prince... wahahaha... at 1st, i dun1 ler, but think think think, lk vry imp hor, so i went...hmmm.. luckily that beach cafe got open.. so nah..... valentine's treat frm him... thank you arr dear... eeeeyer,,, so geli... but nvm lar.. muacks.

this is duno what peach plus strawberry... hahaha.. i tink they wan sweetsweet laa

this is the combination of cny n valentines... u saw the heart shape, below the red wan? bigger in size wan... that wan is bakkwa... hehe... nt bad..

Then takkan eat oni ma..

So,actually we thought can't celebrate together the 1st valentine.. so earlier, he gave me this bouquet of flowers..it's b4 valentinesss...
gt bear bear sumore... he say he ask to specially made wan wa... coz inti gt valentine sale tooo but they selling 11 kuntum or 3 kuntum.. he say too small.. so he made for me 20...

floweersssszzz

n this... is suppose to be the gift on march 14... But since we can celebrate on the real feb 14, so he say wana gv on the real date.. lolz... the box is choc wor.. he says la.. but i havent open.. we open 2gthr okok? he said if the 2 gifts give together will be perfect.. But anyway, i stilll like it the way u gave me.. =)

lastly, my cafe world... he decorated for me... valentines mood...

This is the 1st valentine i had... n thanks for giving me such sweeet memories.. I will treasure it always... Hope you like what I did tooo... =)

with S2.....

I reli couldn't stand...

I just couldn't unjderstand, why is this world so complicated..
All I want is just to be happy everyday, with my friends, family and You..
But it seems so hard.....
Why do I need to suffer like that?
Why isit this world so unfair?
What had I done in my past life?
Im reli curious...
Why people like to force others to do things they don't like?
What the heck are they having in their mind?
We people can be so happie without them... no matter with my friends, family n whoever...
But why are they the only one that giving problems?
Im reli upset...
Why do I need to quarrel with you everyweek ?
I try my best to make a clean record for not quarreling with you this whole week
BUT IT FAILS..

~THE END~

5W 1H

Guys don't like 5w and 1H.. So?
It is because the guys never give girls a ever secure feeling, dats why thr is 5w and 1H..
why guys can married so many, girls cannot?
Guys can do things girls don't like, so Girls can do the same too..
Guys nvr listen to wat girls dun like, girls can do the same too..
It is a guy responsible to protect a girl..

Love is always so complicated, Im stupid and I don't understand...
I don't understand what is no more feel, n what is past...
I cannot make myself to accept and to belive and to understand..
Perhaps I shud leave this place n go to my own world...

I feel being me myself brings all the trouble, and makes everything goes wrong..
I just feel that I shud never ever appear in your life..
Im just something extra..
Im an extra...

Happy 6th Monthsss

Specially For: the person hu oweys make me angry/wonderfullest guy/amazingest boyfriend/ and the person in the picture below....
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He is none other than................

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~

My one n only one ehem ehem dear dear: Jon Lau

Happiest moment....stimboating... yum yum

what expresssion is dat??!!

heeeheeex

My presentation day... Thanks for ur support.. not only dat day, but everytime when I need..

hmmmm...

*wink* like model oni...

Happie 1/2 year my dear...
Time really flies, n now we were together for erm..... basicallly 6 monthssszzzzz..
I know this isn't easy for both of us..
Obstacle that we go through in this past 6 months really make us grow alot right?
Anyhow, thanks for loving me all this while, and stay by my side whenever I need you...
You are an amazing guy because you can stand my attitude... You can withstand my ever so small-gas attitude... Although I always get angry with you over little things, but still you jaga me n never leave me alone..
You never fail to make me laugh if ever you tried...
I still remember the 1st day we get together.. whenever I think bout it, I started to put a smile on my face, because you are so......... I duno hw 2 explain...

I know how lucky am I to have you in my life, n pls, u dun never ever think that I don't appreciate you although I seems dun care...
But deep down my heart, you duno la how much I appreciate oso. =p

So, I just wana tell you I love you n thanks for every single particular thing that you have done for me.. I appreciate it loadssszzz...
Once again i wana tell n convince you that, I seriously never regret to be with you since the day we started n I let u hold my hands..... I know I like you, n I will not regret....


With Love,
Carolyn Wong...

feeling uncertain, insecure

Im feeling uncertain...
Im feeling insecure..
Im just feeling emo..
Stupid...
I dislike here... It brings me emo feelings...
Alot of sad things happen here... But there's oso happy moments..
However, I feel that the sad wan is stacking up...
I have so many thoughts... So many things to think..
Am I reli happie now? I don't know...
I don't know what's the feeling of being happy anymore...
It seems like a stranger to me...
tilll then..

ps: carolynwong is getting crazier n gila-er day by day.. she has ntg to do, but to think of nonsence... thats all...

How i wish to be the once-upon-a-time me...
Back to high school bcoz college sucks...

What am I supposed to do

See ur sad face, seeing ur tears roll... What I can conclude is, my mind is empty, all I want is u to be fine... My heart feels painful..
Am i really that lousy and terrible..
I reali nvr make a single change?
I didnt wana treat you like that... Don't think that I feels happie while im treating u that way..
Im oso one person that duno what myself want.. I never know what I want... All i want is to feel good in my way... It may sound selfish.. But tis is it... Whenever what should I do?
Im trying real hard to change, n to get rid of my bad habits..
Maybe it is a vry vry small changes, so... noone will realise... For people, it's hard to see just a little changes.. But for me, it's hard too to make a changes, eventhough people cannot see the result..

I just want is to be happy like how it is used to be, before everything happens...
Miss those time... But i noe it will nvr cum bk..

useless girl

Why couldn't i be a little mature? Why am I forever so childish?
It's juz a small matter but why do I take it so serious? Am I hving problems? crazy? mad? psycho? mentally prob or wat else?
Why do I need to cry for this matter?
I know it doesn't help but tears just keep flowing down... I just couldn't stop it.. my heart was like stabbed by others..
I didn't know why should I cry... Why is my heart so painful...I bring it to myself.. But I just couldn't help it..
Im seriously crazy, n im mad... Im totally mad n crazy...
I cry n cry n cry, just couldn't stop it...
I cannot slp... My eyes just don't wanna close, n I just cry n cry non-stop n eventually im tired, till I fell asleep...

Im silly, n cry over things that worth nothing.. I am stupid..........

i should not start frm the vry beginning...