sad day

i thought accepting whatever he says n endure it will reduce arguments.. why it is still the same?
im too over again? or ??
am i tie-ing him too hard... he can't breathe?
accompanying me will let ppl laugh? y wud he have this kind of thoughts?
i didnt give him privacy? wat is happening? from the starting till now, y he now oni sound out?
he dun love me for who i am, i accept, n i try to change, i accept what he says, i endure his words...
He dun realised? he dunoo?
do he still need me? or his heart no longer love me?
why every week he at least complain me once?
he said only when he sees me he wont argue, n he like to talk face to face with me...
but when he is given chance, he say he wana do his own things?
his action make me doubt his love 2wards me, but he dun lik i doubt him..
y oni he tink he suffering accompanying me? y dun he thiknk ,im trying hard to change to a person he likes... im chnging myself, he says he doesn't force, but he kip on attacking me in my process of changing, aren't it's anothr kind of force?
i juz hv a simple thinking, i jz hope we cn be togethr whenever we can, n i duno it cause such things like no own time, no dis n dat...
y i jz wan simple, n eevrything bcum so complicated?
he say i peras ugut, n when he doing same thing, he has no wrg, but only me...
y?
izit bcoz i oso gt study i accompany him study is nescessary? then if no study go n accompany ppl study ppl will laugh? isit like that??? isit??
actually how does love works? what is the definition on love?
isit all guys the same? starting they treat u so nice... nicest thing ever... then after a period of time oni they pick pick pick things on u... dis is good, dis is bad, i dun like u lk dat n lk dis.. isit human nature?

He treat me sincerely he said, but if he is, why he need to say all those stuff as like he put down his dignity, to accompany me? accompanying me isit so shit n no-face thing to do??
I dunooo...

Love

People hu sees us together, Sweet !
People hu know us, Sweet !!
perhaps pAsserby oso say Sweeet !
But the truth..?

I dunoo whether I had changed or he had changed..
I just feel things doesn't go well..
Maybe as he said, my expectation is too high...
But... the way he respond to me is it due to my expectation?
Even if my expectation is high, do he need to talk to me lk dat or treat me lk dat??
I admit he is good, he has great patience..

But now, slowly things starts to change...
i feel that he had changed into another person... He is no longer the one that i know...
I feel so scare when im communicating with him... as though he is a stranger..
For previous months, he wouldn't talk sarcasticly...

But now when he is not in his good mood, he will start talking like my history teacher wich those words has bone in it. It hurts..
Besides, for the past, no matter how is it, he willl not shooot me until i have no say... recently, whatever i said, he has things to throw back to me... so, whats the point eventhough i sound out..
He says he wants soft method... But he is treating me by hard method n he dun realise...
He don't like sum ways that i treat him, tut he treat me the way he dun like...
Do u tink i like it? since u dun like?

Last time when he had headache, he can still talk to me n so on... but now, he will just go like "im having headache, u dun ask me dun ask me anything, i duno hw to think" I was so heartbroken when he say this to me..
I noe if i din call him that day, we would have ended everything... But why do i call? i shudn't call right.?
I love him,i love how he use to be during the beginning.. but now..he is different

We have less thing to talk nowadays... He claims that if my dad noes bout our relationship everything will be better...
I didnt deny that... But r u reli sure thats the oni reason?
Do u think if my dad noes, eventhough when Im having class and he is on holiday, or both holiday, we can suddenly have things to talk?
We might be separating after my a-levels.. If in this condition, how can we keep our relationship stronger? i reli donno

I remember during my 1st sem break.. he would call me at night before sleep.. he says he wana listen my voice before he sleep.. But now,still he will call me.. but not for that purpose.. he call me mostly when we fight.. we talk fon oso fight... n sumtimes we hold on the fon, but keep quiet... wasting the fee.. haih...
Everything just seems different now.. he seldom call me to say things like before.. I dunoo what m i suppose to do..
I dun wish when he call me is to fight or anything..
Im reli down... I dunoo what shud i do.. reli... he say i oweys have lots of doubt about him.. But why am I having such doubt.. Bcoz when he talks,is like not clear.. in chinese vry mao dun... I oso duno how...Once he tell me that he likes me sharing my prob to him.. I remember that was 1 day before my 1st sem exam.. we sat near the drain..
But nowadays, when I talk to him, we end up arguing..
Yeah, when he ask i dun tell... every1 does the same right? who will straight way tell when we 1st ask?? but after i tell, why can't he just accept it n start discuss or pujuk me or whatever, instead keep blaming me why dun1 tell him earlier when he 1st ask, but after so long n late...
I just dunooo y he changed to be ;like that.... I feel so hard to communicate with him at time... in terms of we will end up argueing... n what i says he oweys throw back...

i noe how i treat him is nt consistent.. but when he treat me like that, i couldnt ask myself to kip on care.... haihh... i duno y m i lk dat...

In these 2 months.. Our fight increase alot.. Maybe is my character, my attitude... But isit true that everything is my fault? only i need to take responsibility?
Why can't he treat me like usual?
Y he need to talk with me like that ar?
Sometimes, is not I wana hv doubts u noe? it's the way he treat me, the way he talk to me that make me have lots of doubt...

Don't think im so happie being like what I am now.. how upset, how disappointed, how down am I , or even how much had I been crying, how much teardrops.... u will never know..

Teardrops on my pillow,
carolyn wong...

...

Happy 9th Month

Happppie 9th monthssss...








watched ipman2... went mahkota juscoooo n cheras selatan......