H

I noe the truth..
But i regretted for asking.. i wish to noe, but now i regret.. how cum?
I didn't cry immediately after i heard it..But I cried hope to feel better, n telling myself it's over... but some of those words I know it won't over..
I noe i will encounter it 1 day, but i nvr noe it came in so quickly..
If i duno, maybe i can still lied to myself..
Anyway, im not gona blame u or me or any human..
at this moment, i might not be able to say dun tink den dun tink.. if i say can, im feelingless n im lying..
as i say, i wil jz not think bout it.. hopefuly you cn make me dun tink bout it.. hopefullly..

i dun wana ask, explain or express to u anymore, because the words and result u r goin to gv me, will still be the same..I noe what it is gona be.
at the same time, i dun wana make any difference in both of us.. i jus wan it to be like how we 1st got together.. but im still curious, how can u get attracted to me huh when thr's still stg around...

Honestly, the 1st month together, i felt it's the happiest moment i ever had.. n that is the time, i noe what love is all about. Sincerely, im happy during the 1st month.. i felt like , sum1 completely understand me, sum1 completely care about me, n completely noe what i want exactly.. during the hols, no matter how hard , we'll still meet up.. I miss those days although it's dangerous and quite challenging.. im hoping for those days once again..

However,as day gone by, i've learnt that, nothing is permanent in this world. nothing can be always the same.. Life is full of changes.. I can slowly feel the changes from the people around me, from the things that i've seen.. n in us..
Eventhough if it's changing, i hope that it's the least wan.. Bcoz i hate changes.. but no matter how i wish it will not change, it will still change.. im speechless..

Not that i wana force you to forget, but bcoz im afraid tht 1 day, when i put so much love on you, you will eventually leave me... I do not know whether the day will come or not as i couldn't predict what will happen in the future.. Im afraid tht i couldnt bear with it at tht time.. n thr's the reason y i said normal friends... I noe u might dun like it n make u tired as what u told me...
i am sorry for making u like that..

yes,sumtimes, i nvr think for you, b4 i talk.. i noe i hurt ppl, bt i oni realise oweys after i talk.
i didn't plan or think before i talk..i just open my mouth n start to shoot. i dun feel like thinkin or planning b4 i talk, bcoz i feel so no life la this kind of thing.. like saying script lk dat, so stupid lk cheater.. memang wana say that sentence wan, but scare to say, so plan b4 talk lk dat ahh.. eeyer..
I rdy work hard on thinking b4 talking since form 5, but i still lk tht ar, no cure wan.. what to do?

The fast n simple thinking budak lk me, oweys thinks that love is simple.. i thought love is as though only the both of us...
But now, she feels that it can be complicated at times..
Thanks for willing to tell me the truth.. n bcoz of the truth, it helps to build up a stronger me... I fell down ezly, thrfore i will nd to learn how to stand up again..
I will figure it myself how to get through this, bcoz noone can noe how it shud b, but only me and myself..

If i hv superpower, i wish to turn back time, go back to my past,n nvr cum to whr i am now..
in a way, i didnt regret cuming here, bcoz here is whr i learnt alot.. see alot different kind of people which i never get to see b4.. making a bunch of new friends and so on..
But the fact is,i cnt go back..i dun hv the power,so, i nd to kip looking forward nt backward,hoping for a happier tmr. and i hv to slowly "dissolve" it which i think is an uphill task..
I like this quote: "human must undergo sadness to grow"..
I think i grew up alot this month.. i min reali alot..

helplessly,
~carolyn~
='(

对你好的人，不一定是好人。