Random

Things just kip spinning on my mind.. I couldn't get it off.. Why?

But at least, I feel better than the 1st week lor..

During that week, I feel im reli lost that I cudn't even find my way back to my own..

I kip my mouth shut lk got gold inside.. I talk until so damn teruk sarcastic..

I fake my laugh until my kawan oso noe.. I oso cannot stand myself.. Therefore, i oweys cry, hope to feel better the nxt day.. It does work at times..

But I've cut down on thinking of that, by doin other things ( i rdy did try le).. lk eating sushi !! yum yum.. n i kisiao wan lor, got room dunwan slp, i walk til the last block thr n slp.. but i've fun.. hahahaha..

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When Im damn gila playing dy, suddenly I stop n think a few second... So, not me edy.. huhu..

For last time, i wud bla my problems to Amrit n Bernard.. But nw both oso form 6, vry bz.. wuwuwu.. Maybe bla-ing to them and they would gv me a time to laugh with their lame jokes.. hahaha.. especially amrit the clown..

But bla-ing to Jon is oso a gud choice..although no lame jokes, but i got advice... But sumtimes, not i dun1 to tell u, but bcoz they are sum1 u noe too.. U will hv difficulties telling me oso.. Both oso u wana care for, I know..

But anyhow, I oso tell u rdy.. =)

Yesterday ar, my dad saw my pic in my purse.. fuhh.. half dead mann.. ask me sumore, n i lied.. i can go TVB jadi actress dy la, haha..

i lied twice yday.. I said i go study at friend's hse, but actually I went and study with Jon at Starbuck.. fuhhseh.. u see kids today like carolyn, sungguh pandai berbohong oo.. But, i go n study ma, not go n play bowling oso rite..hehehe..

At least, i get to revise my MATHS --SERIES... n sum bio, gaseous exchange..

How bout u ar Jon? did u manage to get sumthing into ur mind? I reli hope you did..

my dad wait at balcony thr see i cum bk with hu, i guess ler.. luckily i drive myself.. fyi, he dun even noe i drive the car away.. aiyo..

Oh ya, yday i think i lost rm 50.. I oweys lost money.. when only i will chnge this "giving money" attitude? no wonder i oweys so broke la.. bcoz i gv money away alot.. But, i rmb i put in inside my purse de.. But bo liao eh...

I noe the value of money wan.. I noe how hard is it to earn a penny.. Although I like to buy buy things,shop shop ar, but mum n dad, i assured u when i grow up, i will treasured my money, n buy what is necessary only as what u all taught me.. but eventhough i lk to buy, i didnt buy those padini clothes ar, vincci shoes ar, i din buy those branded branded thing alot lor.. =)

Sumtimes, i feel im selfish in my family.. I hardly teach my sister her homework, coz she seldom ask me.. this is bcoz i too panas baran, she scare.. i tch 1 time, she duno, den I shout at her.. vry bad wan me.. den my mum oso oweys say me.. laz time, i hardly listen la.. but now as i grew older, i started to think myself.. Yes, indeed im quite selfish.. Maybe im used to be alone b4 i had my sisters.. 4 years all by myself, n therefore a little here n thr, i hv sum selfish attitude..

My mum oweys tell me jaga my temper, dun oweys so hot temper, later my friend oso scare me dun be so kecil hati..later nxt time my boss cnt tahan me.. but kecil hati, i cnt help it... haih..

n oso accept what ppl says bout me.. wah, dis wan, from the bottom of my heart, truly,faithfully, sincerely i cnt do it YET... but not evrything oso accept la.. accept those which is fact..

but since my mum tell me lk dat, so i oso nd to make my brain think bit la, izit true ar ppl say lk dat.. maybe? n i will try to chnge..

But u noe why i dun accept?n dun chnge? Because i oweys think that, WHY do i need to chnge bcoz of other ppl? I live for myself, not for others... This is my concept in life.. I oweys think lk dat..

But yday nite, I think alone again.. Yes, im living for myself.. But this world is not only for me, so thrfore.. i cnt be so stubborn wan ma correct bo?.. Living as though the whole planet is mine.. so selfish meh.. cnt lk dat le... So, I'll try to change.. u din see wrongly la, im reli trying to change.. =)

But the process of changing needs masa lor.. how cn change in a week or two wan? man man lai ler.. haha.. I wud lk to make some changes in myself, n hopefully i will be able to find back my myself in the planet.. duno whr la wei... aiyoo..

I blieve i cn do it...

So that, my mum and dad no nd worry about me... dun nd to worry i duno how to jaga adik..

Jon might me happier? maybe...

But most importantly, i must be happy of my transformation oso..

Because still.......

I LIVE FOR MYSELF is my concept..

Prinsip aku ler.. i jz wana b nt so selfish oni, think for others a bit.. a little bit.. blek..

hahaha..if i chnge, but myself not happy, den reli useless..

1 thing i realised ar, the way parent teach their child is damn important... if u duno how to teach ur kid, there goes he/she to bcum no manners, no moral n etc..... after they reach adoloscent, lagi hard to teach.. sigh... Nxt time ar my children sekalian, i will teach properly.. hahahahaha..

my Valentine n Valentino...if nt, bring go let my mum tch la. ahahahahaha.. sampat po..

Ok la, tired of crapping.. tonite bck to inti.. but i will be happy wan.. =)

i can actually crap alot mann.. not bad........

till then

ps: jon jon jon.. ur essay i submitted at the comment there..huhu